Other than our procession of Collies and German Shepherds back on the farm for 20 years, who were busy all day and night managing the herd (and, amazingly, ‘corralled’ only the specific cows giving milk currently; excluding the ‘ temporarily ‘dry’ ones, for which they seemingly kept a ‘data-base’ worthy of NSA,) I’ve never owned a dog.
And will likely continue that practice until I discover that the Afterlife is actually a heavenly ‘kennel’, where humans spend their eternity feeding animals who, unlike cats, can’t even bother to bury their own poop. (I clean my sidewalk almost daily, sweeping mounds of stinking turds into the street.) Among quite a few other ‘inconveniences’, like not being able to sleep most nights because of some neighboring idiot’s baying hound. Add, that, unlike a cat, who can walk a whole shelf of delicate plants without knocking even one down, the few dogs I’ve been forced to suffer here leave in their wake a trail of wanton destruction. At least a bull in a china-shop can be made into hamburgers; a dog, in the end, is just another hole to dig… to bury it in.
To me, that is. Your mileage is almost certainly different, and I admit to being alone in asking why this creature was ever domesticated.
Ok, hope you can still enjoy the song though. The singer actually wanted to purchase a ‘man’s best friend’ from ‘Hairy Harry’s’. He just had piss-poor luck. I’ll save my money for a new future breed of canine which looks like a cat, buries its poop, oh, and purrs. Of course, my (currently) 14 kitties were all free, so there’s that.
Enjoy the song/JS
Lyrics:
‘Sold by weight, not by volume”
This critter isn’t all you made him out to be
I’m giving you your doggie back!
Well it started with a Pinscher but the neighbors tried to lynch her
Then you stuck me with that Setter, but.. I couldn’t pet her
Then I thought I got lucky but ‘Is this a pointer?’
All the money I spent and in the end I didn’t woint her
We had Sparky, and Barky, and Darth Vader
and the Mother of ’em all; I’m so glad we finally spayed her!
We had: Car-catcher, and ‘Car-chaser’
And that tired old greyhound you know you told me I could race her
Prices vary, here at ‘Hairy Harry’
There’s a sucker born every minute
You buy the box; Cash and Carry
Ya start bitching when you see what’s in it
I’m gonna give the doggie back
So Harry, don’t call me with your ‘Pick of the Litter’
In case you didn’t notice I’m a little bit bitter
I wuz just looking for a Man’s Best Friend
I was taken for a ride, and bitten in the end.
It was a motion picture; lots of action
I’ll never get no satisfaction
And I’m… giving you your doggie back