Monthly Archives: January 2013

Israeli Elections just leave me “all the number”

     Yes, with a silent ‘B’. I ws already righteously apathetic and politically anesthetized after watching the charade we call our parliament, but the goods on display this go-round have left me all the number.
Ok, I voted. Otherwise I couldn’t in good conscience claim that my vote did nothing to change the  situation. Now I can proudly say I at least cancelled out the vote of one (1) local native. Preferably a supporter of the oddly-named ” United Torah Judaism” party, who littered our town’s streets last night with thousands of stupid paper slips. literally a sea of wasted trash, awaiting now the more noble immigrants from Ethiopia and Eritrea who have to sweep them up.I extremely doubt that Moses had anything like this outrage in mind.
On the left, where I naturally find myself, there is only bickering. Also on the right, with the smooth-talking but ultimately fatally-flawed Bibi is doing what he thinks necessary to remain in power. One would think that after his first fiasco-ridden term he would have simply left the stage, moved to  some  trailer-home with no name on the mailbox. If only after being caught on-camera using paint-thinner from Home Center to un-glue the stickers from presents, decals which said ‘a gift to the people of Israel’.
I used to vote communist, I don’t know, kinda like a dog who does stuff just because he can. But the stakes are too high this year for whimsy. So I asked quite a few friends whom I should vote for, and how much it might be worth to them. Nobody’s talking serious bucks this time. And so I went with the dream I had last night. The poll-watchers ask me for my ID card number. I ask “You want ‘all the number?” “Yeah”, they insist. And I’m thinking how the process is leaving me ‘all the number’. Only works in English though.
If only elections were about, like vowels, or silent letters. Then I’d come alive, for sure. I’ve got ‘Spanish Spinach’ coming up here, along with thousands of other Seed-sower inspired veggie-endeavours. Try saying ‘that’ fast a couple times. And to me it’s more interesting than the voting thingie.
  

Four men on a ladder

     Today’s customer for roof repair just sent me this picture he took while I was working. Didn’t mention anything ‘strange’ about it. But I should have known: He has a full-sized helicopter cockpit he built in the basement, rigged to a nifty simulator program. I checked out the controls a few minutes, knowing full well that I’d then dream all night that I was flying a chopper, and that’s what happened exactly.
 
  But today another marvel came into view: the two larger-than-life ‘sculptures’ of Galapagos-clone turtles in the backyard were mysteriously at  different spots each time I glanced at them from above. Made me distrust my already failing memory. I called down to Gidi at one point ‘Why’re you moving the ‘hafetzei-noi’ (‘art-objects’, roughly) bro?’
He just laughed, “I’ll show you when you finish.”
    And sure enough, they were very much alive, and moved themselves, albeit slowly.  He’s had them for ten years, purchased quietly at one day out of the egg and the size of a chicken hatchling. We agreed that I will supply them all their culinary requirements; leftover garden produce of all stripes. Something about seeing them close-up tickled me to death, and I’m still trying to figure why.


So… that’s the news today from the oddly-named Holy Land, where last week we had raging winds,  hail, and torrential downpours which just about shut down the country and this week I had to install fans in the greenhouses just to keep them below 90 degrees. Oy, as they say. Lucky there are four of me, otherwise I’d never keep up with it.