Went wild and bought a case of bargain beer in advance of Passover®, when, in the usual reversal of Jeezuz the Vintner’s magic trick at Ka’anan, we simply declare beer to be “bread”, hence forbidden, and yea it is so.
But the Mexican beer I bought is even more perversely unfaithful to His miracle: It is verily ‘Wine made Water’™. I drank enough to drown a purposeful porpoise the first day with no perceptible effect.
(Ok, I did write this poetic epithet, but I can do that sober, when I’m mad enough anyway.)
That’ll teach me to read the label next time. Small print: “cerveza placebo: sólo para la investigación” No wonder it was a buck a can!
Now I’m searching as we speak for Jeezuz, with 30 shekels and a load of bottled water in trunk of the old Fiesta. He’s gotta be around here somewhere! Just hope he doesn’t sermonize me: “Verily I told you so.”
This stuff isn’t ‘Near Beer’
It’s not even close.
Yeah it says ‘five percent’,
‘aber etwas ist los’ (‘but something is wrong‘)
You can drink a whole six-pack
And not feel a thing
No happy, no visions,
No dance and no sing
The only attraction:
‘Cheapest- Beer in the Land ‘
But it’s a pint of inaction
you can hold in your hand
Says it’s ‘hecho-ed en Mexico’
South of the border.
Yeah, by suckers who’d murder
your Mom for a quarter.
Well I bought twenty four
and now sixteen remain
In disgust I shall pour them all
straight down the drain.
Wu: ‘Requiescat in pace, ya faux cerveza!’ huh? (‘Rest in peace, you fake beer!’-Latin, Arabic, Fr., Sp.
JS: Wu! I knew you’d show up if I bought the beer.
Wu: Looks like I shoulda BYOB-ed
JS: Nah, I saved the day in the last seconds before the Moon rose on the ‘Night of the Long Haggadah’
Wu: Nu, you bought some real beer?
JS: Mebbe yes, mebbe no. You know what thees ees?
Wu: That just a cheap pickle from a cracker-bax jocks!
JS: Not to Audrey Farber..
Wu: Audrey Farber?
JS: Melanie Haber?
Wu: Melanie Haber?!
JS: tell ya what, Rocky, just sit here in the waiting room, or wait here in the sitting room. I’ll be right back.
Wu: Didn’t I hear that on the other side of the album?