Monthly Archives: July 2014

When Johnny met Doctor Al

A colorful character, Dr Al¬† was a judge last week in the local Vegetarian Art contest, where I usually make a fool of myself. But this year to my delight, his vote ensured that my submission in ‘DRAW A POTATO‘ GOT A TOP AWARD. When I thanked him after the event he pointed out that potatoes aren’t the most forgiving still life element.
“Ever try to REBUT A TUBER?” he asked, slyly and I had to admit he was headed in both the right directions.
Seriously, if I thought I was nuts on palindromes I met my lost twin in Al, a wunderkind who kinda wandered afar… but non-the-less earned his doctorate…in something…somewhere?
As I left he gave me the link to his site: ‘LARD, M OR F… FROM DR AL‘. Gender-neutral advice from east and west. Yeah, I should have known.
A couple days later, while anguishing over my diet: (too few veggies, too much sugar, my use of candy as a life-saver), I emailed him about it. Can’t hurt to ask the pro:

He wrote right back:
RE: ‘IF I CAPSIZE, PEZ IS PACIFIER
Dear Yonatan: Thanks for your inquiry. I’m familiar with your problem and will be happy to give you tips on overcomming this challenge. You may also be interested in helping with a project I’m currently putting together, “ASPARAGUS/ SUGAR: A PSA“. We’re working on this public service ad for like, forever and can’t seem to nail down the plot./Al


Well I jumped at that, to put it mildly! I suggested to him to show the sugar molecule for what it is, an attractive nuisance which grabs the souls of kids and never lets go.
Al: “Great, I really wanted to get my daughter Lindsey her first screen exposure. We could have a sugar ‘demon’ riding a black horse and catching her with a rope.”
I thought for a few seconds.
“How old’s your daughter, Doc?”
She’ll be two in November” he announced proudly.
*gulp* “Well, first of all, we can’t use her full name, have to credit her as ‘L-L'” I started, “… “..and LASSO ‘L-L’, A TOT? TOTAL LOSS, AL!”
He took the critique well:
“Yeah, you got a point. Guess we’ll just go with Lisa Bonet, she’s already volunteered, what a doll.”
OMG, to meet that exquisitely Cosbian¬† kid off of whom I never seemed to take my eyes… unbelievable!
And yet:
“Al, you’re certainly aware that…”
He cut me off:
Yeah, ‘LISA BONET ATE NO BASIL’. No prob Bob, we’re talking about asparagus here, remember?”
Oh yeah.” I said relieved.


And so, look for this mythical PSA on a mythical channel near you, coming soon. Or not. It was fun to at least to dream about it. Worth a dozen Hershey bars.
With almonds though. That counts as a vegetable, right?

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