Tag Archives: featuredq

What theme parks have you been too? Which was your favorite?

It would seem that the Xanga Team’s copy editor is on vacation, probably at ‘Six Black Flags Over Hoboken’®
Trying to answer this question taxes one’s will to live. I’ve never been even one real  Theme Park, let alone multiple parks, which would allow me to crow about having been them too.
Epcot Spelling World™, in scenic Billings,MT,  has tons of displays of bad grammar throughout history, plus an
interactive diarhea of sentences which use a proposition to end up with. My favorite on their web site was:
“I loved making re-chopped liver from this featured question, and if you enjoyed reading this you’ll probably want to sleep with me right now; know what I’m hinting at?”
Seriously, I seem to be the only respondent who noticed anything fishy about this construction. CYA @ Asleep at the Wheel World,© just minutes off the Interstate.


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And here’s Desmond and Desdemona conferring on appropriate attire for theme-parks:


Happy New Year! What is your New Year’s resolution for 2010?

Featured Familiar Question: What’s your resolutions about?
(re-phrased in hi-Xanga style) . I just had a nice dream to start the civil new year out on. I was following a train too closely (?) on the Ayalon Freeway into Tel Aviv. The conductor blew his horn and motioned for us to ‘talk’. Rolled down my window and he did too, as I pulled alongside him. He gave me a mean look. I returned the gesture, only to see him scrunch up his face into a truly professional ‘looks could kill’. But I saw the smile starting, and matched him, complete with fingers on the mouth and eyes, plus a fart noise for good measure. By that time he was laughing.
“I was gonna say something using fowl language, but I kinda chickened out.” He yelled, over the engine-noise.
“Me, too” I told him, re-gaining control of my car after the hands-off-the-wheel display.
“I thought you must be crazy.” his next line.
“Yeah, me too.” I laughed. “Hey that reminds me of my New Year’s Resolution.”
“Which is…?”
“Which is: ‘I gotta stop this constantly questioning my own sanity. What am I, nuts!”
He liked it!
Moshe/Avi/Hezi(?)  liked it. (we didn’t exchange names)
Anyway, it felt great to be doing something indefensibly deranged and not giving it a second thought, if only in a dream. Moral: Hezi don’t think I’m off my rocker. One down, a million to go, but we have time…


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What is the best way to show someone that you love them?

Deja voo-doo-doo all over again. I already addressed this here: http://www.xanga.com/jsolberg/648307214/its-he-she-and-us-versus-them-and-were-losing-ground/ Looks like my Grammar Lesson didn’t “catch”. But note the stellar comment exchange on the post. We are Not Alone


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If you take away your race, religion, family, education and job – who are you?

They always say to answer the easy questions first on these timed quizes….  A: I’d be an illiterate jobless atheist orphan who’d lost the race. Hmm.. doesn’t sound like much fun at all. ‘That’s me in the corner’, by the way. 


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If you got a terminal disease what would you do?

I got to know who phrases these questions. Ok, I guess people do “get” diseases, although the verb sounds to me like driving in your station-wagon over to Diseases R Us and picking out the one you saw in the paper, or alternatively, opening the mailbox and finding a letter containing oh, scurvy or ugh, the black death.
Really, the main sub-questions are:
1) Do the xanga-overlords realize the ‘duh?’ phrasing of most of their Chosen Fragen?
2) What percent of those who chose to answer them mention the odd wording, (I shall shortly check on this point, as I often do) and
3) Yes, what would I do?
Since Life itself is a condition from which no one exits alive, the question really resolves to an issue of timing. i.e. “How much time I got, Doc?”
I remember when I was 6 or so, hearing on the radio, during my modest little birthday party, that Albert Einstein had died. I’m sure I knew by then that cats and cows and crows like, ‘got dead’, but this announcement might have been the first I thought deeply about human mortality. If you think about it, none of us is born knowing that we won’t live forever, it takes a while till a child realizes the truth.
So I’d kinda like to see a Featured Question: “When did you first realize you were gonna get dead?
Oh, and the Shpiel-check approved version of my answer?
“Keep farming till the money’s all gone.”


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Given a chance to meet and talk to any 3 artists (dead or living), who would you choose?

First off, I’d choose ‘living’  artists. Lots easier to talk to ’em. They like, respond, ask follow-up  questions: stuff like that there makes the experience a bit livelier. Andof course I’d much prefer to be living myself.

Ok, seriously, I’ve had more than my fair share of opportunities to hang out with artists of renown, mostly musicians. And I must report that  admiring, even coveting someone’s gift does not necessarily imply that a conversation will be inspirational or fruitful. Past saying “G-d, you have monstrous chops, bro. How’d you get there?” and learning that “Um…I practiced a lot..” you mainly co-miserate about the weather, agents, airplanes, or whatever’s handy. I’m not sure what I could ask my hero Tchaikovsky, other than “How do you say ‘awesome’ in Russian?”.

   One memorable conversation of several hours I did have, though, was with Duke Ellington. z”l  He was writing some tune at that moment, we sat at the piano, I cracked him up pretending to know better than him what the horns should be doing at this bar, etc. Altogether an individual so human in almost a child-like way that we lost track of time. I must say I learned something, “meeting and talking” with that artist .

Oh, and it’s “khorosho” if I recall, I didn’t write it down so I forgot already. Pathetic, right?


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