“Hurry! Only {1} Seat left at this Price!” Yeah, and I won’t be on it!

How stupid do you think I am?? Ok, don’t answer that.
But seriously, scrolling through dozens of flights and airline-prices on the host of ticket-search sites, a smart guy like me can’t help but wonder whether the ‘Wolf!’ being cried about is truly lupine, or in fact an ad-agency mouse dressed up to scare shoppers.

Coincidence(?) that 95% of the jet-rides from here to Philadelphia are just waiting for one last passenger (sucker to be born?).
In truth, my reason for delaying my trip-of-the-century to Drumpf-ville is mainly financial:
Current prices TLV to PHL center around $1400. A month from now they drop to a more affordable $900. Presumably because the cost of jet fuel, pilot salaries, and economy-class peanuts will magically plummet after Sept 15.
I’d love to claim that I “refuse cuz of the ruse.” A principled and obstinate objection to being played for a fool by the web-site click-lickers.
Were I of like mind, I’d warn here: “Hurry: only one (1) reader-view left on this post” !

Anything for a buck. But I do put my money close to where my mouth is by refusing to brand my squeaky-clean pesticide-free sweet corn as ‘Organic‘ in order to command a higher market price. (As if the competition’s ears have ‘No Carbon-based molecules inside!’ Or worse “No Chemicals!” What, it’s sold in empty vacuum-sealed Dewar flasks?

At any rate, I probably have time now to buy a ticket after the ‘rush-hour’ subsides. A learned art, weaseling that last seat on Air Canada. Before they raise the price 50c and again cry ‘last seat at this price.’


10 thoughts on ““Hurry! Only {1} Seat left at this Price!” Yeah, and I won’t be on it!

    1. solberg73 Post author

      They are currently the lowest rate, $1297 or thereabouts. Via either Toronto or Montreal. No non-stops offered by anyone anymore.
      If you have a cheaper alternative, I’m all ears.
      But I mainly wrote this to rail at the transparent lie wall-to-wall on the ticket sites, the ‘last train to clarksville!’ claim, so easily disproven. I blame Drumpf of course.
      Only got this ‘Fly, Johnny’ bug in my head a week ago, when I read about…uh oh… ‘only one solar eclipse left at this price. But for 6000 shekels less I may watch it on TV.

  1. somewittyhandle

    Last seat at this price. After this, they get cheaper.

    My guess is tat school summer holidays have something to do with the price drop. During the holiday, there is a higher demand for flights which, naturally, will inflate the price given the fixed nature of the supply volume.

    Even disregarding the misnomer, ‘Organic’ is a scam of even greater magnitude than ‘Fairtrade’. Pay a hefty subscription fee to the Soil Association for their logo, on the understanding that they may conceivably inspect you one day to verify that you are in some nebulous respects nodding in the direction of their token greenness. Use as much nitrate, antibiotic, and pesticide as you want, as long as it’s not part of a ‘systematic routine’. Random is fine. No real consideration of land stewardship.

  2. solberg73 Post author

    Yes I was being obtuse for comedic effect; and I don’t blame the airlines for reacting to high-season/ low season demand changes. My beef is with the wool being pulled over the sheep’s eyes with the false claim of ‘last-chance’.
    Unless..unless the airlines really *do* wholesale tickets to Expedia and the like “one at a time”. And then replenish the broker’s stock only after it’s sold?

    1. solberg73 Post author

      Yes, and on a 300 passenger ride, no one got a causus belli better deal than the guy across the aisle. Although cabin wars have been fought for peanuts.
      Glad to see I’m not alone in thinking this one to death: I’ll be back shortly with the Lutheran17 theses I’ve come up with mentally for now. There’s a class-action in this, I say.

      1. solberg73 Post author

        Searching for similar con-jobs in various other endeavours:
        1) The proverbial “Last gas next 103 miles!” sign. Gazing at the ‘E’, you fill the tank, price be damned, only to discover half a dozen perfectly respectable filling stations within the next 20 miles. Oh, and at lower prices, every one.
        You spend the time on the way to Tempi Arizona thinking about an FTC (Federal Trade Commision) suit. ‘Printed material deliberately intended to deceive the consumer.’ But on the way home you forego stopping and ripping the guy’s scrotum into un-suturable shreds. Hoping, perhaps that someone else has done it already.
        2) Does remind me of one of my favorite jokes:
        A fellow comes into a grocers and asks the helper for ‘half a head of lettuce.
        The lackey tells him: “We don’t sell a half a head of lettuce, Bud!”
        The customers requests that he ask the manager, and the helper duly walks back to the checkout and says:
        “Some asshole here wants to buy a half a head of lettuce!”
        But turning around to see the customer right behind him, he adds:
        “And this nice gentleman here has offered to buy the other half.”
        Later, the manager compliments the boy on his quick thinking, saying:
        “Son, I think I’ll send you to our store in Milwaukee.”
        The kid replies: “Oy, Milwaukee? Only whores and baseball players live there.”
        The manager counters “Hey, my wife’s from Milwaukee!”
        And the kid says:
        “So what team did she play on?”

        3) If folks are everto be held accountable for lies (even on the internet?) and the “wages of sin are death” or some such, shouldn’t the bearers of false witness on ticket sites be prohibited from selling further copies of the seat they proclaimed as the last one left. Note: your one-cent price change finesses this crimes, I’ll assume.

        4) And I’m imagining a group of male castaways on a remote island for over a year, astonished one day to see a woman emerge from the forest. Describing herself as ‘the last ticket left’, so to speak, she presides over a bidding war. The conclusion has one fellow piling his winning collection of coconuts on the beach, pledging his troth, and happily ever after… For a couple hours, until her sisters, daughters, and aunts, every one more ravishing then her peer, show up to schlep the ‘dowry’ back to their hidden village.
        5) Shops catering to the tourist trade here often place one copy of a purported ‘antique’ on the table, describing it as a rare find. The sucker makes his purchase, gets approximately to the end of the block, and heaven-behold, another ‘rarity’ is already on display, from the back room.
        More, but I’ll await your click.

        1. somewittyhandle

          The Scottish equivalent of the ‘last gas for 100 miles’ again sidesteps litigation by being suitably vague and impossible to disprove:

          In the highlland lanes, you will often see, chalked on a slab outside a petrol station, an inn, or a restaurant:
          “Ye may gang faur and fare waur” [you might go far and do worse]

            1. solberg73 Post author

              Ha. I tell my wife that sometimes.
              And together, we’ll get to the bottom of this.
              The forums on the net already know that this ruse is a bald-faced lie. Why it is tolerated goes to the lowered expectations for truth these days.
              G. Washington said ‘I cannot tell a lie’. (?)
              The current pretender cannot but tell lies.


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