Google News Feed RIP.

In sadness and disgust I must report on the Death of the almost-perfectly functioning real-time news-aggregation site which made my life worth living for several years.
I search for metaphors:
As with Drumpf’s wrecking-ball to any sense of normalcy and continuity, the feeling of helplessness predominates while staring aghast at Google’s horrid ‘Play-Skool’ replacement, ‘rolled-out’ with not even the hope of impeachment or ‘reversion’. It’s as if the internet ‘hardware store’ , as of yesterday, offers only Fischer-Price gaily-painted plastic hammers

Evil, detailed:
1) Density of real content has been totally eviscerated: Two or three ‘Headlines for You’ now fill the entire infantile page, surrounded by enough ‘white-space’ to contain every proof of Fermat’s Last Theorem ever proffered. (The previous format had 20 stories on a single page)

2) The victimized Reader now scrolls down half-way to Kankakee just to discover that Kim Car-Dash-Board’s Butt (sp?) is the big story today.

3) The vital ‘first-sentence’ quote following a citation which once allowed an astute reader to quickly decide, or not, to spend bytes and time on an article is Gone!

4) Also Gone is the vital functionality of clicking on an article… then with a simple ‘X’ returning to one’s place in the story.

These are just the first stand-out disappointments. Criticism of the re-format on the forums is almost wall-to-wall, a satisfying reinforcement of my own impressions. Yet..

Q: What is to be Done?

A: Nothing. No way to revert, to change the Google-meisters’ ‘election-results’.
I’ve watched almost every sleek, trim, and usable site succumb to this cancer over the years: Among them Xanga, the on-line sites of my Elec Co, Bank, Visa, etc. Only Stat Counter, my tracker, run by non-deplorables apparently, has done updates which actually improved functionality. My Bank, in contrast, now wastes half the page tormenting me to update the ‘My Entertainment Budget’ widget.
And so I’m now dead.. but at least un-surprised.’Sad’, as they say.
Did a quick search for a replacement, but like in Woody Allen’s 2nd ‘Lobster falls to the floor’ scene in Annie Hall, none of the contenders have the spark I once trusted.
And, not believing in anything anymore, I guess I just go to law school….


4 thoughts on “Google News Feed RIP.

  1. Kakalakola

    Solberg, you tower above the competing beasts like a giraffe in a circus parade, except for the 40 foot whooping crane.

    I’d just like to point out, right below the article, in the “More on” section was promoting a pair of articles about (a.k.a. promoting) the latest features of Facebook & Google news.

    (But you were probably counting on it, since your post was tagged with “google news feed”. :D)

    1. solberg73 Post author

      Yes, Google is actually proud(!) of this dumbed-down feature-stripped atrocity. I am seriously in mourning. Both for myself personally, and for the human race, if this brain-death is the path we are being guided onto.
      But glad to hear from you, brother. At least there’s that…

  2. Susan Bud

    BUTT J,

    Kim K’s BUTT is big enough to house the grand canyion and a few nations wanting to sneak into the US so it is very worthy of US news. She is always under suspect of ‘something’ even if she is a g-d fearing girl from good old ca-la-something CA.

    The US fascination with her BUTT is here to stay and nothing you can do will ever change that.

    Accept it. Don’t fight it, lest you fall into that crevice never to be found again… People have been lost for years…Those that have come back have no memory. They stammer all the time. They rarely smile. They were forced to sign NDAs. Was it worth it? They don’t know. They can’t talk about it… Proceed at your own risk…

    1. solberg73 Post author

      As I mentioned on the phone, I am both devoid of any familiarity with the person/dynasty but also proud of the effort it required to preserve that pristine status. (Hmm.. ‘dumb and proud of it’? Next thing you know I’ll vote Republican(!)
      Appreciate your comments, and puhleeese… write me a news-feed that worketh. I know you can do it blindfolded.


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