‘Jesus Loves the little Children’ Right?

 I’ll not assume that everyone knows this Bible-school ditty. But be re-assured that the additional lyrics can be easily sung to the same tune. I owe it to myself, or to the children of the world, to prove that. shortly.

Ok, the question is whether to quickly post a poem (in this case 30 minutes old), just for the ‘Immediacy’ The down-side, of course, is that one hasn’t taken the time to analyze the intent and import.
But having barely 3 or 4 Readers has its virtues: I can apologize individually if need be.
This ‘creation’ is indeed dark and almost venomous. I think it clever. Tonight, at least.

The original:

‘Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the World
Red and yellow, black or white
They’re all precious in His sight
Jesus loves the little children of the World.

And Today:

Jeezuz! What’s with all these children?!
Seven billion, mebbe more…
While I’m on a short vacation
They do over-population
What to do with all the children of the World?

God, he set a great example:
Thoughtful; (I’m an only child!)
But the mortals mate like fleas
Kids are hanging from the trees
Gotta cull some little children of the World?

Yeah, let’s start with, say, Albinos?
Less than half of one per cent?
But they’re cutest when they’re young
Who can pick out one among…
All the nasty little children of the World?

‘Listen:’, Dad sez on His cell-phone:
‘C’est la vie’, (He speaketh French?!)
“Suffer all the little buggers,
the delinquints and the muggers
Though deluded, they be ‘Children of the World’.

‘Times Hath Changed’, I SMS Him
No more ‘Father Knoweth Best’
WTF? Our only planet:
Now the kids out-weigh the granite(!)
I’ll take care of all the Children of the World(!)

Four Grim Horsemen in their saddles
Wait for a signal from The Son
‘Thought I’d save ’em for the End’
But, y’know, ya can’t depend…
On today’s ‘entitled’ Children of the World

Final Solution:

Jeezuz! Love dat pair of Children!
Two tots chosen to survive…
Eyes are blue, and skins are peach
Male and Female, one of each
‘In My image’, yeah, the Children of the World


12 thoughts on “‘Jesus Loves the little Children’ Right?

  1. somewittyhandle

    Jeezus! Now you’re asking for a
    Bunch of homozygous genes
    mate two siblings, and their spawn
    have the looks and brain of Don
    Build a wall and bill the Children of the World

    1. solberg73 Post author

      Oy, next rewrite: “Anything I can do, you can do better/ You can do anything better than I”
      No I can’t!
      Yes you can
      I’m an ant/ You da man!
      Your perfect addition proves my point, sir.
      And yeah, the real eugenics ‘horseman’ may well be as banal but tragic as Trump asking ‘We got nukes? Why not use ’em?’

  2. promisesunshine

    This reader found your youthful poem inciteful and frightening and apocalyptic and such. I don’t know whether to be glad you shared it or not. However, no apology required.

    1. solberg73 Post author

      apocalyptic, yes, it wrote itself in that slouching direction. The part I don’t like is any implication that Jesus would have (or ever will) intended any genocidal harm. I started it as a simple parody like that ‘plastic jesus on the dashboard of my car’ tune a long while ago. But the verses headed by themselves into darkness. ‘If it rhymes, it climbs’, guess you could say.
      Anyway, no dear little rug-rats were injured….

      1. promisesunshine

        Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids.
        Sometimes these things happen. I think I know Jesus and JS well enough to identify source. It’s powerful. If it wouldn’t be interpreted as a how-to, some folks could benefit from reading.

  3. dimebone

    “Jesus Loves the Little Children …” takes me back to Ray Stevens’s horrible song in the early 1960s.

    Everything is beautiful
    In its own way
    Like a starry summer night Bla Bla

    How could we listen to this crap? It deserves to be rewritten.

    Everyone’s deplorable
    Emolument pay,
    alt-Right loose cannon
    Goebbels is Steve Bannon

    Or how about fungible — everybody wants to sing the word fungible in a song, right?

    Everything is fungible
    units of a commodity
    capable of being substituted
    in place of one another

    la la la JESUS.

    1. solberg73 Post author

      Excellent, Greg. I hadn’t considered that, Duh. Finally, Veal, or baby-asparagus-tips. (Pisses me off here every year to sell vegetables (by the kilo) to folks who insist on ‘buying young’. Baby-zuchinni who woulda weighed X3. So much for farming as a career!


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