Sean Spicer, in his unenviable role as Press Secretary to the failed Drumpf Administration excoriated the Corrupt Press for their reporting on the Comb-over-in Chief.
“Mr. Donald”, he maintained, “was misquoted as saying ‘honered -sic-‘. In fact, he cleverly twitted: ‘I wuz ‘Hohnered’…, a reference to the gift harmonica he received from the German firm noted for their fine quality musical instruments.”
Wags in the press corps wasted not a beat in retorting:
‘Great, playing the blues is a skill we fervently hope he will need shortly.’
Drumpf, not to be ‘trumped’ twat back: ‘Evil Bill Clinton can have his-monica and a sax and that’s just fine? Sad’
Music lovers are now hoping, in the words of one I contacted, that “he sticks to the white notes, as is likely, and avoids over-blowing, and the resultant out-of-tune cacaphony typical of neophytes.” I’ll add that neither of us were over-optimistic on that score.
And speaking of the arts; a few short poems. (I apologize for the varying meters/line lengths among them. They hang separately, but not as an ensemble.
Let us deal with this faux Yamamoto
But wisely at first, take a photo
It’ll capture his Soul
Which we’ll pour in a hole
Stomp it down; less than 1 gram ‘in toto’
So the US is ‘Tombstones’ un-varnished?
And the shvartzes live in hovels, with ‘gor-nisht’
Not to worry, comes a Hero
With Experience: zero
He can sweeten all the carnage.. with garnish
I am ‘honered’ to ‘recieve’ this recent mention
It’s ‘Un-presidented’; got my short attention
In the latest Strunk & White
Where they deal with ‘speling rite’…still-
On my toilet, I’m a Master of Invention
And for presumptive Sec of Education Devos:
To preserve our academic might:
Yes, a twit; can’t right a sentence wright(!)
In an earlier day
They’d have shown her the (am)-way
To ‘remedial’, somewhere out of site
ADD: I just knew there wuz one Poem, forgot to include:
On the question of tactics to battle this crude
aberration; this consummate dud of a dude;
the political version of Automat-food
We search through the tool-bag: ‘Try Zen?’
Remember that once, way back when:
The Truth was an admirable weapon of choice:
You just stated the Facts in a confident voice.
But lately that gun seems to jam in the barrel
Silver bullets un-shot, while delusions go viral
So yeah, we’ll try ‘No mind’, chant ‘Wu!‘, clap one hand.
Warm bodies, in place of The Pen.
Oy, can’t seem to stop; mebbe one of these will hit a nerve?
On the ‘Great-again’ menu, for White House occasions
For shame-less Europeans and envious Asians:
It’s Velveta cheese-balls in fake-orange Jello
Topped with plenty of Dream-Whip, for the gourmet-type fellow
No more Julia Child here; this is Father Know’s Best
All the entrees are styled, at the Master’s request
Sing a swan-song for Swanson’s; here’s yer new Twitter-Dinner
‘N if it falls in the toilet-bowl, you’ll be that much thinner
So get over it, diplomats, sad Heads of State
We won, I’m in charge now; oh and ‘finish your plate!‘