My excellent night in S’s Octopus Garden!

First time I’ve been happy in years, speaking both as a cod-fish but also, in a larger sense, as a living ‘critter’ on this impossibly-improbable Sea of Life in an empty, far as we know, Universe. So y’all can relate, y’know.
I was. I think, about two years old, barely 8 inches long ‘(or ‘tall’ as humans call it) when I realized that I wuz destined to be ‘diffrunt’. Think it was somewhere off the coast of Labrador; creatures were up there, walking on their ‘fins?’, breathing oxygen somehow directly from the air?… oh, and ‘speaking in foreign tongues’.
As usual, none of the ‘kids’ in my school had much time for my pitiable exultation that ‘Hey, guys, there’s a whole ‘nother world out there!’
And so, the usual story, I learned to shut up and ‘pass’ as just another fish in the sea.
Till I met ‘S’. Sorry, no details; last thing we need is a viral exposure.
You enter via the ‘waterlock’/ air-lock. Double doors; he mastered it by scoping out submarines. And then: Carpet!    Oxygen at 21 % and free for the taking, no stupid gills required, plus Conversation: ( he’s lending me ‘Don Quixote’ in the original Spanish!; found it near some ship-wreck,) oh, and TV! Seven channels. That was the hardest part to set up in his Garden, he told me, over gourmet crustaceans. Needed a special Underwriter’s Laboratory permit for underwater operation.
Anyway, I ‘fin-walked’ back and forth in the rec-room till I wuz almost out of breath. Euphoric ain’t the word. Yeah, I always knew I was ‘different’, just that I was never sure, till now, about ‘…but in a good way’.
And so, right before a half-hour-long  eight-legged goodbye hug at, oy, 3 AM!, ‘S’ let me post this on a ‘web-site’ (First time for everything, right?’) He assured me that ‘the fellow will understand; he’s cool with self-development.’
So, for anyone reading up there on ‘dry land’: take it from me- realizing I was wet was the start of an amazing process! See ya in the Garden…sometime.

PM AT ‘S’. LUV THE AIR! OH, ‘PUEDO CAMINAR’ ; I RAN. (I’M A COD!) EUPHORIA, EH?! TV…U-L STAMP!

330px-portrait_of_cod

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4 thoughts on “My excellent night in S’s Octopus Garden!

  1. somewittyhandle

    I’m happy to see you have avoided the infection which was rife among salmon throughout the Atlantic: the dreaded ulcerative dermal necrosis (UDN). Its failure to spread to the young of your species baffled fish vets, but turns out to be simple: a cup of tea, dropped into the sea in Boston. No side effects, apparently.

    Rot codling answer: brew . Snag? Nil, Doctor.

    Reply
  2. solberg73 Post author

    Oy, there’s two us at this game, and the pisces behind me is breathing down my gills.
    Cod do have a disgusting and horrid parasite which enters through the gills, but thence to the heart, Recommended to avert your eyes!
    But the major foe is of course the fish and chips fans. That’s why my fellow here learned to read… to quickly locate the last page of the newspaper and escape.

    Reply
  3. eleanorio

    That line in I’s the b’y: “I don’t want your maggoty fish; they’re no good for winter” is referring to the worms you find in cod. *shudders*

    Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      Well Praise the Google, for those of us like moi feigning cultural literacy; glad I checked, ‘that line’ I’d never heard, or even heard-of.
      I loved writing this cod-piece; felt so ‘autobiographical’, so “Portrait of a Solberg as a young cod”. And ‘Doc’ the cod is luvin’ his romp on the air-breathers’ (mouth-breathers? net.
      “I’z famous on both sides of my known world!” he told me last night over fish (haddock) ‘n chips.

      Reply

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