No Fries with that! Emergency Report

“What’s the difference between Ignorance and Arogance?”

A: “I don’t know, but who cares; I won.”
Fucking Drumpf. Barely a month in office and he not only shut down (chained the doors, for God’s sake!) NASA, NOAA, and the EPA, but also, for good(?) measure another agency, little known, which shared its acronym: Exo-Planet Alert!   ‘FEMA’s EPA’ those few who even knew it existed called it, since it was quietly funded by that parent organization.

And that’s why I’m sitting here in MacDonalds watching CNN on the hastily lashed-up TV and staring at the ‘No Fries!’ sign.

Fucking Drummpf! He had as much chance of ‘making America Great again’  (it already was, and with fries!) as one(1) drunken monkey at a broken typewriter typing the whole of Shakespeare.
The POS didn’t want aliens? Great, now they’re landing another shiny ship every fifteen minutes out near Boisie, Idaho, the ‘Home base’, I guess, but only till the potatoes run out.
Didn’t like NASA’s approach to space travel? Just great! Now he’s got his own space travel, but in the wrong direction for Humanity: Um, ‘Incoming!’
See, the ‘little-EPA’ boys knew about the threat. Some insiders even contend that the Perseid menace was clearly mentioned at a top-level security briefing which this short-attention-span POS attended, took no notes (except for bra sizes of two female staffers) and left dumber than he’d been before, if that is possible.

Scrapping Environmental Protection! Great Again, asshole! Idaho, as we speak,  HAS NO ENVIRONMENT to Protect. The Ape-men, or whatever term settles out for the ‘hairy’ (feathered?) creatures in the Main Stream Press, have turned the entire area, including parts of southern Canada, into a landscape resembling the Sahara desert on a bad hair day. Credit the ISS crew for that lone assessment; most of the other ‘eye-in-the-sky sats have gone either blind, deaf, dumb, or all three, either from de-funding or alien hacks. We’ll only know ‘when it’s over over there’. (More on that later)
No one’s even gotten a close-up look at ’em. The loop on CNN keeps re-playing the single fuzzy photo uploaded to Snapchat by a luckless motorist. He lost his life, car, and I-phone seconds later on I-84 when all three devices were melted into a pile of roadway scum.
Jim Holloway, ex-head of the now-dead Exo-planet Alert agency, tries but fails to keep his composure with the CNN anchor, explaining one moment where the stars in the constellation Perseus can been seen, reveals what was known, and when, about the obvious signs of an ETI civilization there, and then almost breaks down in grief and disgust on-camera.
Cut to commercial: MacD’s still showing the happy meal ‘au ‘pomme de terre’. French for ‘comes with fries’. Might as well say now ‘pomme de extra-terre’. And sources in the preposterous loony-bin called the ‘Trump administration’ are now reassuring the panicked low-infos that, um, not to worry, we’ll have our own ‘freedom-fries’ up and running real soon. Made from what? She swatted away the question; said they’ll be ‘great’.

When it’s Over Over here?
Um.. like, never? See, Idaho, and potatoes, are ‘appetizers for these hungry invaders from Perseus, the ‘radiant’ of the famous annual ‘Perseids’ meteor shower. Idaho is only a beach-head for them, and with the free world currently ‘led’ by an empty-headed moron withe the nutritional value of Diet Fresca (Remember: ‘An artificially-sweetened, artifically-flavored imitation fruit-drink beverage’.) we are headed for much worse than a shortage of ‘au gratin’.
Ex-President Barack Obama is reported to be somewhere between ‘livid’ and ‘inconsolable’. All his careful, discreet management of this threat, the contingency plans, his knowing awareness of the dangers from premature disclosure to the public, is now just waste-water over the dam.
Damn him to hell, that fucking Drumpf. And the sick little deplorables who dragged this dog-shit into the house stuck to their shoes.
I do have 3 potatoes in the fridge though. But I’ll scan the sky before I dare to open the door. So, worst case; ‘I got some groceries, some peanut butter,
oughta last a couple of days…
Yeah, and PALS:

OH, A DIET?… AS EPA DIES, REPORTS ‘ASTRO-PERSEID’ APES ATE IDAHO.’

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12 thoughts on “No Fries with that! Emergency Report

    1. solberg73 Post author

      Read it all sometime, Tim. Not a tirade, a sci-fi morality play; first act.
      Think about Bonhoeffer’s “First they came for the Potatoes, and you were silent, since you didn’t like fries anyway..’ lesson. It bears repeating these days.
      I’m hoping you are aware of how many quiet projects run by folks working hard to make the planet and society work better.. or at all, are at risk of being savaged by this uneducated, pompous, and dangerous nit-wit.
      BTW, I panicked at first reports of the Medelin-bound jet. Sad…and preventable, by a simple search of that aircraft’s maximum range plus headwind forecasts. But at least Alicia doesn’t play soccer professionally, right?

      Reply
      1. Roadkill Spatula

        Alicia’s son is playing club soccer in Germany with hopes of breaking into the big time. This tragedy has hit everyone hard. The Medellin team (Nacional) that the Brazilians were going to play have proposed giving the tournament trophy to the deceased team.

        I haven’t read much about it beyond the initial reports, but Alicia says that the pilot didn’t specify to the tower that he was low on fuel so they sent him into a holding pattern instead of giving him priority to land.

        Every appointment Trump makes causes me to cringe. I am aghast when I contemplate all the protections of the elderly, those with lower incomes, immigrants, national parks, the environment in general, that could be swept away in this administration. God help us.

        By the way, WP recommended some ancient history of yours, and I saw where the word Manitoban came up in a 2008 Xanga post. Now you’re plagiarizing yourself.

        Reply
        1. solberg73 Post author

          Re: the plane: Yes that scenario is what I’m reading also. Gives me nightmares; and why? Cuz I see myself there in the cockpit, also deciding not to appear ‘pushy’ to Tower, and saying: “Hmm, ten gallons.. 30 miles per gallon, oughta work out ok.”
          Glad Alicia’s son is next in line in a proud tradition of SA futbol.
          As to any proud traditions we (yup, ‘we’, incl exiled) US-ers may once have had, I at least have you to talk to as the ship of elementary decency goes into the deep. It was important, for me to stress that if my post was a ‘tirade, then I have Bonhoeffer as my inspiration in these critical times. Tons of gifted writers are saying what I did, more clearly.Just that it can’t be read backwards, ha,
          As to plagarism (and I suppose I really should search for that post you mentioned, senility and all that,) I’ll probably just label it ‘prophesy’, ‘foreknowledge’,
          Thanks so much for your thoughts, Tim

          Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      Right you are. Politics plus potatoes always brings up Quayle’s mis-correcting a child at a spelling bee photo op. And not to forget his famous ‘deer in the headlights look when Lloyd Bentsen, in a VP debate, told him ‘..and frankly, Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.’ These days, Trump should be told: ‘frankly, POS, you’re not even Dan Quayle!’
      Glad you liked this piece; it’s a sci-fi warning tale, I guess.

      Reply
      1. promisesunshine

        Being invaded by aliens seems like a pretty good option these days. (either as relief or explanation) I think our big boy met with the illustrious Dan Quayle yesterday lest I’d never have thought of him.

        Reply
  1. happierheathen

    Are you eating better lately, or what? 😀 I find myself again, twice in a week or less, I believe, saying “Bravo!”. Until recently you weren’t even blogging once a week, so I’m calling it a “tremendous, absolutely stupendous, and really very great” time to be alive and with an internet connection.

    That Schrump feller is short one burlap sack, if’n ya knowhuddamean.

    Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      Great to hear from you. We’re all in ‘damage-control’ mode nowadays, with as much prospect for success as the Dresden Fireman’s Assoc had. It’s ‘party like it’s 1933!’ time for the know-nothings, and at least I’ll be on record as a party-pooper. Wrote this on the calories from a mega-turkey-pastrami sandwich I gobbled while waiting for the Apocalypse.

      Reply
  2. solberg73 Post author

    Aha; the news as it happens, in all directions. A mangy Dog in a manager’s role sitting on a throne three sizes too large for it thinks he is God.
    I’m willing to give this particular choice time to soil hisself; several of the others came aboard with dirty nappies on day one.
    This Goddess, though, we shall need to marry her off to someone one step above even ‘Wisdom’.
    I just now accused my older son of tackling my dead computers problem like a ‘mad dog’, I’m old, and never recklessly plug anything in, citing the ‘Unknown unknowns’ quandry. (Rumsfeld’s term?) We shall see, in time, of course.

    Reply

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