‘PAN’: A BOT IN A MANITOBAN ‘AP’!!!

Mystery Solved!! Nice detective work, Johnny.
Oh, and credit to ‘Networx’, (Tm) the nifty up/down-load monitor, plus a generic ‘connections’ viewer.
I guess I should have known better than to download an ‘AP’, even one which simply sends (‘sent‘) me weekly reports on Arctic sea-ice and reindeer populations, etc. The site had a ‘dot-ca’ address; if ya cain’t trust Canadians, well, who can ya trust?

Turns out that the ‘AP’, with all its animated graphs of Eskimo ice-cube prices, is just a cover for ‘PAN’, the bot which takes up more than half the file-size. ‘Palindrome-Attack-Net’ is what the pros call it, I now know.
Just now typed a dumb throwaway Pal: ‘MT PINATUBA- A BUT,A NIP. TM.’ into freaking Ms-Notepad, while watching the meters. Sure enough, an instant connection established to, you guessed it, New Zealand. That’d be my nemesis, Julie-Anne, of KIWI LEEKS fame. She don’t respect my privacy, my right to original creations, and worse. That ‘Tm‘ in the Pinatuba Pal means ‘Trademarked! Which makes her guilty of a federal crime now. ‘Lock her up!’ I say.
So that’s about it. I deleted the AP, and of course wanted to warn anyone else not to click on it.
Feeling kinda thrilled after killing this dragon, I’ll admit. Just typed:
TORONTO: ROT? / NO-ROT? and the meters just sat there flat-lined. Yippie.

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10 thoughts on “‘PAN’: A BOT IN A MANITOBAN ‘AP’!!!

  1. somewittyhandle

    The couple who created the bot were honeymooning at Niagara Falls at the time. In the middle of the night, the balcony of their suite detached from the building, plunging them into the falls. It’s a wonder they survived, having ignored the sign, clearly posted above the threshold he carried her over:

    EMIT ONTARIO DUO BOUDOIR AT NO TIME

    Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      Bravo, comrade in arms! I would have jumped out of a warm bed to write that one down. (Any PAL requiring less than 2 (two) paragraphs of explanation is kosher by me.)
      Ok, I’m currently in shock, having decided to spend an hour or so understanding the ‘Geordie’ dialect. Thence to Hertford, Sussex, Cockney, Estuary, Isle of Wight(!). My lord, why the ghastly profusion of accents? In London alone, the church bells heard at the moment of birth determine, street-by-street, ones pronunciational legacy. I almost give up the venture. Was *so* close to ‘ringing’ you for at least one memorable lesson in this odd endeavour.
      Ok, I grew up in a mountainous and solidly in-bred area of Penn’s woods where I could, within half a sentence, ID the school a speaker attended. ‘Annville-Upon-Quitapahilla’-speak, I suppose, is my ‘Geordie’. But still.. you-uns guys/ blokes/ punters, canny chaps hath taken regionalism to an absurd extreme. Maybe. (I may well be simply a fish who doesn’t know he is wet.)
      I guess the question is: do you use your almost-certainly encyclopedic pallet of accents in various social situations for intentional effects?

      Reply
  2. somewittyhandle

    If I didn’t have a Scots accent, my second choice would be Geordie. There’s something cordial, honest, and bold about it which is appealing.

    Others for you to explore are Scouse, and not forgetting Brummy!

    A Brummy (from Birmingham) is at his tailors being fitted for a suit.

    “Kipper tie?”

    “Yes please. Two sugars.”

    Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      My obsessive research all mentions a strong Scots contribution to the dialect. The history, geography, and migrations plus intrigue of the area is just overwhelming.
      Btw, I didn’t get the chance I’d wished for to converse with my Newcastle customer today; intended to attempt, in character, to explain that I ‘stopped by a pub in Gateside, met a canny lass, shared a pint or two, watched United make schnitzel out of Manchester on the telly, and after that, I kenn-a recall a bloody thing.”
      Hey, I’m playing catch-up here.
      Oh and also to get more insight on your cup-a-tea joke. Brummy? ‘I ain’t got time for that now’ (David Byrne) (See my latest alien-wartime-life post)

      Reply
    2. Roadkill Spatula

      The Monkees created a song called Randy Scouse Git because Mickey heard those words on a trip to England and found them amusing. The record company couldn’t release a song with that title in the Isles so on the British printing it was called Alternate Title.

      Reply
    3. solberg73 Post author

      News: I finally re-told the joke here to my client, who ‘got it’ right away, and asked that I relay his appreciation. He then told me of watching a B&W TV show once, a tale set in a some grim harbour town, with the characters speaking a language he tried but failed to ID. German?
      Ha, in the end it was Birmingham! We sat for an hour discussing phonetic drift. Cornwall came up as one extreme example.
      He also lent me an ‘Ant and Dec’ DVD on ‘Tyneside’. I’ve got ‘great expectations, I do.
      And I owe much of the impetus for my sudden obsession to.. some witty handle or other.

      Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      Living (and writing) well is the best revenge. Your erudite and supportive comments have been such a large factor in my own longevity… mebbe we should split a champagne. But only after your snow melts. Mazal tov!

      Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      I haven’t yet called it a craft, but yes, the nice long ones take paragraphs for ;background, and I sadly throw away ten cods for every one I keep. (Which hurts all the more since cod is almost extinct, no?
      Btw, this one you made can be fairly elegantly, after some background on the disappointing Dr Rotterten’s fishing expedition.
      Thrilled that you’re hooked.

      Reply

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