Yes, what does ‘Julie-Anne Aux-Saussage’ want from me?
These last two weeks have not been easy; I’ve spent hours I’ll never get back trying to answer this question.
Nowadays, with IP tracking, packet-sniffing, Face-Book snooping, one can get at least a skeleton-grasp: She’s an immigrant to New Zealand from (possibly) French Guiana, 29 years old, unmarried, living in a rental at 23 Hereford, near the corner with Fitzgerald in Christchurch, NZ.
Her IP is (usually) 116.193.192.027. She is a fervid vegan (Doesn’t wear leather shoes) and has a small organic vegetable business somewhere outside of town, selling onions, garlic, and the like. But mainly ‘LEEKS‘, a member of the onion family, beloved principally by folks who dream of clearing out an entire crowded elevator with one horrid ‘leek-breath.’ Of watching panicked victims decide, spur of the moment, to all get off at the 3rd Floor… for impromptu root-canal surgery.
Anyway, her satanic contribution to world-wide halitosis is registered for tax purposes as ‘KIWI LEEKS, Ltd’
Ok, none of this explains why she should have hacked my email, published all my precious Palindromes for anyone to claim as their own, and kinda made my life a living Hell. What ideology could motivate her? I mean, I raise only vegetables here in Israel, and have never posted anything disparaging about vegetarians. (Oh, except once jokingly asking why, if they love animals so much, they persist in eating the animals’ food.)
I’m pretty sure that the key to this all was a post a few weeks back where I revealed my secret encryption system. Simple and effective: I and my trusted confidantes merely reverse the letter-order of the message. Un-breakable. Or so I thought.
Julie-Anne apparently thought differently. And must have spent hours cracking the code.
In conclusion; to what depths have we sunken that a fellow so innocent and well-intentioned as your Writer should be anonymously tortured… and without even so much as a published political ‘I believe’ Manifesto with which I could at least argue?
Meanwhile, the last ‘gold’ she found was this (banal, agree with me) MSG to an old High School classmate, Tess, who is now ‘good at computers’:
‘D’- “LO BOOT DATA” CPU?- TESSIE: H-S WAS INTENSE! E’S NET… ‘N I SAW SHE IS SET UP; ‘C’ A TAD TOO BOLD?
(We’re trying to get an emulation of Ellen (‘E’)’s pioneering early-days network back on-line, just as an ‘in-memorium’. And I’m having techie problems using my own computer as a ‘server’. Font-sizes.. stuff like that there..)
What this has to do with:
Yup, that’s today’s Question!
WU: You sure this is all true, Solberg?
ME: Ok, mostly. She’s actually 31… And ‘in a relationship’. With what, I’m not sure; Reality?
WU: Sorry, I wasn’t just talking about details.. Um, why do you DO this stuff, guy?
ME: You heard the one about why the dog licks himself?
WU: Yeah; ‘because he can’. Ok, I get it. Carry on, bro.