Clk-clk-clk-Clock Ch-ch-ch-Changes

I need help!
My hard-won mantras for ‘understanding’ what ‘simply moving the long and short Hands of the Clock’ means… are losing their clout, their ‘prowess for all time‘ knack at dispelling confusion.
Readers in The US, Canada, and UK will need to deal with this presently; here in Israel we are already ‘back in sync’ (one way to see it) with our ‘real’ Time-zone: two hours ahead of Greenwich.
The Sun, I keep whistling to myself in the dark, couldn’t care less what the rumoured ‘life’ on its Third Rock out does to its timepieces. Newton Rulez! (Ok, Einstein, on Mercury.)
But meanwhile, my ‘been there; done that’ confidence in successfully navigating the twice-yearly ‘revolution’ looks more like ‘Been there, didn’t get that done!’

I walk outside with my bucket of cat-food to distribute, (and thereby quiet a 14-feline chorus of annoyingly-petulant wailing fur-balls.)  Darkness on the face of the Earth. The ‘new’ clock calls the Time ‘Five and a half bells’ 5:30 AM. I chant: ‘Ok, this is what was last week called 6:30.
Back then, of course, as now, the sun was rising about a minute later each morning, and it was becoming increasingly ‘wrong’ to drive to the corner store which opens at 6:30 without headlights.
Now, suddenly, Eli, the beloved store-owner and often my first (or only) contact with humanity daily, pulls into his postage-stamp parking lot in full sunlight. At ‘what is now called ‘the new six-thirty’ but was, only a few days ago 7:30!’
My cats, bless their furry hearts, haven’t changed their watches. And as a life-long farmer, we milked the cows by the sun; as in: as early in the morning when you could be sure, visually, that you didn’t mistakenly herd ‘Beulah’ into the milk parlour when she was officially on the ‘dry’ list of girls on ‘maternity leave’. ‘Lassie’ could smell their ‘paperwork’ in the dark, of course, but still, nothing like a human, to be 100% sure.
And so, as I mentioned, I am now desperately chanting my  ‘save-me’ Mantra:
‘It is now Six AM… what used to be called ‘Seven AM.’  Do you know where your cows are?’ (As the old Public Service Announcement once asked parents about their kids’ wanderings.)
And frankly, my dears, I sadly haven’t a clue, although I do give a damn.
Anyone have a better way to ‘grok’ this?


13 thoughts on “Clk-clk-clk-Clock Ch-ch-ch-Changes

  1. somewittyhandle

    At this latitude, we get somewhat faster “sunrise creep” than you get in the Levant. Even so, I don’t see that it excuses the clock-buggering milarky that is thrust upon us. Twice a year, there is a day of chaos as Gaul is divided in three parts: the ones who (arguably correctly) changed their clocks; the ones who (arguably correctly) forgot all about it; and the ones who remembered, but changed the clocks n the wrong direction. Our Beulahs show up three times with their paperwork.

    1. solberg73 Post author

      I’m sensing a sort of Brexitism among the masses, on several continents, who dislike being told, then re-told ‘what time is it. All we need is a catchy name… oh, and pollsters. ‘Tempus Fugit Ex Cathedra’ (Sure you can do better)

  2. somewittyhandle

    I’ll add another niggle:

    The way we articulate the hour change over here adds another idiotic cherry on top. In the winter, we operate on GMT (Greenwich Mean Time), favoured by Zulus the world over, owing to out high fibre, zero longitude ingredients list. When the hour changes, GMT stays where it is. Instead, we adopt BST (British Summer Time) otherwise known as GMT+1.

    In the middle of August, an email from Kingston, Ontario suggests a Skype call between them, in Kingston, you in UK, and somebody in the Netherlands “at 2:00 PM GMT”. Do they mean “2:00PM your local time” which would actually be 2:00PM GMT +1, i.e 1:00PM GMT, or do they really mean 2:00PM GMT? Experience teaches that there is an approximate 50/50 split between these two. Additionally, there is a 50/50 split between the two possible interpretations inferred by the third party in the (for example) Netherlands. This means that there is a 25% chance that all three parties will be on the same call, and only a 12.5% chance that this will be so at 2:00 PM GMT.

    This is actually a generous estimate, as in practice there will be some who, for reasons mentioned in the first paragraph, actually show up at 2:00PM GMT-1.

    1. solberg73 Post author

      I can only add that us radio amateurs use Zulu as the agreed-upon Esperanto-time. The sun never sets on the empire, but at least in Greenwich ‘solar noon’ is a constant, regardless of manipulations.
      The small point here in the post is about that insecurity when even trusted memorized re-assurances lose their clarifying powers. I’m by now quite calm about being 6 or 7 hours ‘ahead’ of the US East Coast, effortlessly saying ‘Good Morning’ at night and Good Night in the early AM. But a one-hour change has me helpless here.

  3. happierheathen

    It is entirely possible that having a lifelong sleep disorder and a gig that doesn’t require appearance at a given hour has reduced my respect for time numbers on machines to a level abhorrent to normal people: My primary concern is that they’re synchronized, and beyond that they’re just numbers to me. They’ll synchronize just fine without this lunatic time warp people impose upon themselves twice each year, too. If it were up to me, there would be one clock time for the whole world and it would only change for leap seconds. Gotta keep those Cesium atoms from getting out of step with our drunken corkscrew trajectory, after all. Let the folks figure the rest out for themselves — the mental exercise would do the slovenly lot of ’em some good.

    I’ve heard that daylight time is good for farmers, but everyone I’ve ever known in ag, save the indoor and nursery producers, worked on sun time. That being the case, it’d seem that daylight time is for city people, and cities don’t have any need for it.

    I dunno, man. I think to grok that one you’ve got to reach the arrogant conclusion. Maybe the whole world ‘ceptin’ most of the folks we personally know really is crazy, and most of the folks we personally know are just ill-informed at times but generally good-hearted. But my experience when daylight time mattered to me was that I and everyone around me wanted to pound that clown on the company softball team, at every company, who went around boasting “I don’t know what you’re all carrying on about. I love daylight savings time! I get more time for softball practice, and golf, and …”.

    I can’t help but believe that DST is really only for that two-legged canine subset of the population that likes to chase balls on grass and engage in pointless dominance rituals. Ice chest in the back of the SUV guys, with cleats and hats and loud voices who go to bowling tournaments in Las Vegas. And if that’s truly the case then all that’s left is to laugh, but not so much as is warranted lest ye be locked up for loony.

    1. solberg73 Post author

      You reminded me that six months ago, headed in the opposite direction, I railed about a fellow who claimed that DST ‘created’ more sunlight-time, or something contra-factual like that.
      My main problem is now having to weather a couple hours in the early AM waiting for stores to open. Won’t reveal what they got that I hate to be without.

        1. solberg73 Post author

          A wonderful idea…. in a different clime, a society of auto-trust for fellow man.
          Actually, the fellow is as grateful for lucking out and meeting me as I am, likewise, to count him among my own ‘trusted sites’. But I won’t stretch the felicity.
          Simply remembering to stock a beer and a half-pack of cigs solves my problem.
          Ha, I should have saved for retirement also. Hmm.. I blame the 60s; we never dreamed we’d get old. (Happy birthday, btw.)

  4. eleanorio

    …and then there’s Saskatchewan which doesn’t change clocks ever (I understand Arizona is of this same ilk) so that the time zone changes I have memorized since infancy no longer apply. The only solution is to go back to the world being flat. Who’s with me?

    1. solberg73 Post author

      Ha, SWH is working on it (below) Yes ‘holdout localities’ simply complicate the picture. Some Asian countries are 20 or 40 minutes ‘off, and China is one giant time-zone!
      I’ll stick with a spherical globe for now, but suggest slowing down its rotational period from 24 hours to 365 days. One side will then constantly face the Sun, the other (guess who, ha? will truly be ‘Darkest Africa’. The ‘Land of the rising/setting Sun will be all the countries on the periphery of the lit hemisphere.


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