Liars Begone ! The Song

Y’all probably think that writing, performing and recording ‘great, great ‘ songs is a piece of cake.

Just stand up in front of adoring low-info white fan-boys and de-claim: “I write the best songs, really, great songs, believe me; you’ll get tired of how great my songs are! I got hundreds of ‘knock ’em dead’ tunes, ready for Day one, but I don’t want to show ’em to the enemy ahead of my coronation. Even my coloured friends are gonna buy ’em; what do they got to lose? Lemme tell ya, sitting there picking only the best great lyrics wasn’t easy. It was my ‘Viet Nam’. And the music? You’d have to be a Mexican rapist or a supposed ‘war hero’ or his bereaved father not to agree that I am God’s song-writing 2016 messiah.”

That said (ugh):

Do take a second to listen to this short but cute imitation bar-song. The ‘conceit’ (kinda apropos here) is the classic paradigm of deductive logic:
A) All Cretans are liars
B) ‘Donny’ is a Cretan
(C Therefore ‘Donny’ is a liar

I’m proud of the internal rhyme, etc. You may neither note nor long remember it…
My dream is to add/ over-dub the voices of readers to the chorus, to enhance the ‘drunken-crowd’ motif. And we shall do just that, as soon as I assume the reins of the American Presidency in November. I mean, how hard can that be? Probably the same deal as the nuclear weapons; click ‘Send’ and watch the bad guys fry on CNN or Fox.

Enjoy! (And vote, early and often.)

LYRICS:

A famous quotation, from the Lower Cretaceous:
“All Crutons are Liars” now appears to be true!
A critical study was published discretely
In the Cretan Edition of ‘Crouton Review’

Cho:’The Cretan edition of ‘Crouton Review’
The author, a hard-pressed prestigious ex-Prussian
Worked in his pristine and precedent-setting..
back-yard with like crate after crate of car-routons
And rigid criteria which had to be met!

Cho: He had rigid criteria which had to be met!

With a litany written by a colleague in Britain
He assailed each with a salient question or two;
Have you stopped getting soggy? yes or no.. und so weite (German: ‘and so forth’)
Till each one confessed and was thrown in the stew.
Cho: ‘Till each one confessed and was thrown in the stew.’
Scrutinizing this glutinous massive indictment
This ‘saga of soggy’, by a modern-day Newton
The proof’s in the pudding:
If the Man is a Liar
And all Cretans are liars
Then he must be a crouton

Cho: All croutons are liars
And this one’s for you…

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One thought on “Liars Begone ! The Song

  1. solberg73 Post author

    Yo, El: turns out I posted this 9 years ago on Xanga, (!) and you commented: “I can only ask: Were the croutons not gratinée?” Oof, now I have to belatedly add that word to my sparse Fr. vocab… But still, something charming about ‘closing circles’ no matter the time frame. Where’d the years go? At least you and I are almost indistinguishable from our 30-something heydays. (I saw a video once of Paderofski(SP?!) painfully playing the piano at 90+. “Dat’s me these days” I exclaimed. But I’m working on it; got the Minute Waltz down to 1:57 so far, and counting. ‘Death, where is thy sting?’

    Reply

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