Un-Ravelling Ignored ‘Replies’. (or: ‘Pavane for a Dead Comment’)

I shall shortly get back to my trade-mark fabrications, but first, just a bit more WP-Mamba.

    It’s now official. 93% of the comments I’ve left on new sites (mostly found through searching ‘Topics’) are simply ignored. Never responded to. Left to rot where they lie. Lonely as an unclaimed crib-death baby. *sobs at that simile*
And before you say it, these are not facile ‘LOLs’ or ‘You go, stranger!’ toss-offs. No, I comment only when I have something interesting, relevant, and decidedly on-topic to add.
And so today, feeling ‘pro-active’, I thought to create a follow-up Nag-let(?) I could use and re-use to ‘get to the bottom of this’.
There is, of course, a risk, a down-side to being brash and assertive. No one ‘owes’ me a Reply. I know that. It’s only a sociable, considerate, mindful, and intelligent part of having a blog-site. Hmmm, what does that description make my hordes of mutes now, ‘thoughtless louts’?
Anyway, here goes: What I’m looking for from readers is your thoughts on the advisibility, and on the wording. No worry, I do not intend to use: “You owe me ear-plugs, jerk. Your silence is deafening!”

No, let’s try one or more of the following:

1) “Hi again. Just curious whether you saw my Reply to this interesting post./JS”

2) “Comments (and Replies) are an important part of blogging give-and-take, and I’m eager to hear your thoughts when you have a chance./JS”

3) By now, I’m assuming that you don’t habitually reply to comments. To each his own, and I’ll not bother you further./JS

4) “Just curious; does my ‘Zionist Entity’ IP upset you?/ JS/ Tel Aviv”

5) “My recent Comment is ‘awaiting moderation‘, so it seems. I can’t find anything immoderate in it, but if you like, I can change ‘I much enjoyed reading this piece.’   to ‘Meh. Guess there are worse things to do with ten minutes of my life.’/ JS”

6) “Feel free to Delete my above Comment. You are correct; your entry does look better with -‘Zero Comments-‘ attached to it.CYA/JS”

—————————————————————————————————————————-

Each of the above has its charm. Pick one, or none. I’m sure I went through this on Xanga also, (before I found the rare and sweet ‘responders’ who weren’t afraid of their own shadows.

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32 thoughts on “Un-Ravelling Ignored ‘Replies’. (or: ‘Pavane for a Dead Comment’)

  1. eleanorio

    Personally, I think you should leave them all, starting with the first one on day one, until you get a response. Give the guy a day or two to respond; if he doesn’t, post the next one, and so on. But don’t expect much. There are blogs where the comments are posted in the hundreds and the blogger is not likely to answer any. Most people don’t even blog for the fame (infamy?), but just to write. So they don’t know what to do when someone comments. Or, it could be like wedding presents. Fewer and fewer married couples are actually sending out thankyou notes for presents received. It’s rather rude. But I am learning not to be surprised.

    Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      El, i purposely reply on newish, well-intentioned sites, where the blogger seems to be dying for feedback. That’s why the silence is so puzzling. Hope you liked the title. I’d also considered ‘Afternoon of a dis-Satie-fied Fawn-er.

      Reply
  2. happierheathen

    My vote is for None Of The Above. I could elaborate, but not coherently. And besides, I’ve got a chore waiting for me because I’m the only one who’ll consent to doing it. Be well, my friend!

    Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      Luckily, like The Little Prince who ordrs his subjects to do exactly what they want, I myself opt for None of the Above, at this point. But who knows, a bit of incoherence and i may explode in righteous indignation.

      Reply
  3. ordinarybutloud

    I’m with Heathen. But if it’s very important to you, then I say go with #1. I think #2 is really an open question, quite unlikely to be a useful generalization across blogging platforms or blogging individuals. Of course you’ve addressed this with #3, but if you don’t mind me saying so, in a somewhat petulant manner. It may be that you so strongly believe in the truth of statement #2 that you don’t mind the understated petulance of #3, in which case you should go forth and be yourself. My personal feeling is that a comment is a toss-off into the world of bloggers, a lure, a fishing line, and once in a million times it pays off. The rest of the time it either disappears into the void or it’s a xangan I already know to be a reliable responder.

    Also I will end this comment by noting: quite often I fail to respond to comments.

    Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      Aha, yet another benefit from knowing you. I was sure #3 was uber-something. Petulant, huh? I’d thought that just applied to cats, or hamsters. And #2 is ‘didactic’ too much.
      Emptied a bottle of wine yesterday, and my evil twin said ‘Just do it!’. But after he went to sleep, cooler heads prevailed. Thanks for your analysis.

      Reply
      1. ordinarybutloud

        Coincidence…I, too, was emptying a bottle of wine yesterday! But it was already half gone when I started (she claims, ingenuously). I said “somewhat,” not “uber.” 😀 But whichever. My evil twin is excessively cautious. It’s when I wake up I think, why so much caution! Throw it! Throw it to the wind!

        Reply
        1. solberg73 Post author

          A present today from my current client: a ‘box’ of CA wine, with drinking spout attached. New to me, but yes, it works. Feels a bit like wheeling an infusion around wherever I go though, and it’s harder to gauge how much of the ‘Piont noir’ in this case, I’ve killed.
          Evil twins I’ve learned to handle; it’s the ‘evil quintuplets’ which may eventually do me in, ha.

          Reply
  4. Kakalakola

    Solberg, you tower above the competing beasts like a giraffe in a circus parade, except for the 40 foot whooping crane.

    Whether for better or for worse, I prefer to assume the lack of response to be default. For some folks, my self included, it’s a matter of timing. And personally, I’d recommend against follow up comments, in that folks that don’t reply, won’t.

    Admittedly, perhaps you can try complimenting the writer of the post, perhaps complimenting their prowess as a writer compared to the rest, with the stature of a large even-toed ungulate mammal in a procession of some sort.

    Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      Kaka, you are significantly taller than many of the prevalent planaria worms I’ve studied. Hmm. methink that’s called ‘damning with faint praise. I much enjoy your comments, seriously. And I put these out mainly as a trial baboon; just to monkey around with ‘what-if.’ What does hurt my feeling is that these are usually heavy, ‘important’ sites who ignore my equally substantive thoughts. I do suspect anti-antisemitism, to tell the truth. maybe i should surf with a proxy.

      Reply
      1. Kakalakola

        Thank you. I pride myself on being significantly taller than the common planaria worm, studied or otherwise.

        I always figured folks running certain sites/blogs don’t respond much in general. (Unless they specifically don’t respond to you, in which case replacing your user ID with a female binini model is more likely to elicit responses, rather than outright asking about the lack of response.)

        Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      If i do gung-ho the little bloggers, I’ll be sure to report back here on what i learned. #6 is almost a ‘Well, I never really loved you anyway.” letter.

      Reply
  5. Roadkill Spatula

    I don’t think it would be tactful or appropriate to comment about lack of response. People here are used to ignoring comments, except for a few who seem compelled to respond to all. If I wanted to pursue it, though, I think I would start leaving more and more inane and bizarre comments until I come across like a whacked-out troll like that psycho over on Xanga.

    Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      ‘Inane and bizarre’, yes, we can do that, should worse come to worse. But Tim, it occurs to me that if you could see one of my typical ignored babies, along with its mom, you would agree that yes, there’s a comment which pretty much screams for a reply or acknowledgment. I generally read 15 or so posts till I find the one which ‘needs’ a comment, pause and consider how I can best be the dream-reader this individual wants, and go forth from there.
      Anyway, since press-time I have had a couple rousing successes, and no longer feel so miffed.

      Reply
      1. Roadkill Spatula

        I’m sure your comments are response-worthy above the vast majority. I’m glad you’ve had some people respond. I read some brilliant posts on here and occasionally comment, but it appears that the more technical the post, the less likely I am to get a response to my comment.

        Reply
        1. solberg73 Post author

          Thanks, and one of my short dreams last night had you providing a perfect Spanish translation for a young girl blogger threatening suicide if she couldn’t come up with it somewhere, somehow. She posted soon thereafter that ‘it all worked out’, but never thanked you nor replied at all. Guess I was mentally trying out ‘Extreem Repliables.’

          Reply
          1. Roadkill Spatula

            Interesting dream! I dreamed that I was in jail but was part of a group planning a breakout, only I didn’t know the plan. Getting out involved being given probation or parole illegally, and the truth would hit the fan shortly after we got out. Somehow I had missed the meetings where they talked about what to do to avoid detection after leaving jail. I woke up in extreme anxiety at 2:30 a.m. Maybe your dream provoked my dream.

            Reply
            1. solberg73 Post author

              I tried to reply to this from the little orange POS, but after 2 lines you can no longer click to have it go through. Ok, I’d mentioned Pauli, Jung et.al.’s work with synchronicity, then recounted how I spend mornings trying to separate nightmares from legitamate sh*t I screwed up in RL. And added how your dream’s form of scare-factor is often encountered similarly in my own. Only then did I realize that the POS is once again, not up to the task. Oh well, at least OBL tore the Condom a new anus. You go, girl!

              Reply
  6. nuclearmom

    I have to say, the ‘Meh. Guess there are worse things to do with ten minutes of my life.’ is probably my favorite, but then again, some don’t understand the beauty of snark. Appropriate or not, I think it would be awesome. I’d just love to see the response it got!

    Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      Thanks for coming aboard, and the use of ‘snark’. I just knew that was a word I needed to learn; now to just find an equivalent term in Yiddish, which is, like snark-city.
      That #5 is my playing with the odd term ‘moderate’, which can mean both approve and ‘to tone down the rhetoric. Again, come back again soon.

      Reply
  7. ordinarybutloud

    Also wanted to tell you: you can avoid the miniature pop-up version of the blogs when you click on an entry in the reader by clicking on the word count at the bottom instead of the title. The word count takes you directly to the actual page. The title pops up the window in your reader.

    Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      OMG OBL! I’d tried just about everything else; ran through my 1st million monkeys with a readable Shakespeare Sonnet to show for it, but no luck killing The Condom.
      You are who they mean when they say ‘Together, we’ll whip this site into a semblance of functionality, or die trying.’ Heartfelt Thanks

      Reply
  8. RAB

    The pedant in me thinks #2 is creating what we currently call in faddish academic circles a “teachable moment.” The other choices, while choice, are primarily expressing pique, and you don’t have to do that. Someone I’m fond of professionally and personally has an engrossing and important blog, and I sometimes leave comments (but i do tend to be somewhat eccentric in what I say)… The other “academics” who leave comments never refer to mine, and the blogger himself never replies….But I ran into him at a conference and he said “I always love your comments!” So now I just imagine him smiling with pleasure at what I write but not quite being able to phrase a reply. Maybe others are doing the same with your comments. Or maybe their blogs are intended more as self-expression than as give-and-take. So I’d recommend that you just let sleeping bloggers lie, and imagine appreciative smiles on their dreaming lips. Leaves you more time to indulge in give-and-take with people who are up for it!

    Reply
  9. solberg73 Post author

    I must say your ‘take’ on this critical(?) question is wise, and very nicely sums up my own developing attitude . . The anecdote you recount does shed light from a different angle on the issue. The net is infamous for arousing feelings of rejection, when the truth in fact is much more prosaic. And yes, some of my comments do probably make consummate sense only to me, ha.
    Thanks so much for visiting. i can now return to derivative doodling and contrived contortions with a lighter heart/ JS

    Reply
  10. Jonathan

    I finally got around to responding to some of the comments you left on my blog! Even though I think your potential follow-ups are hilarious, please don’t leave any angry messages in my comment section. My reasons for not responding immediately mostly have to do with being away from the computer and without time, but I definitely think it is difficult for amateur bloggers such as myself to know how to respond to well-meaning comments. Like many others, I don’t write to please a specific person. I just write into the void of the internet expecting everything I say to be swallowed up into nothingness in a very Nietzsche-ian sense (when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you). So, when I actually get well-formulated feedback the first impulse is to curl up into a ball and wonder why the abyss wrote back.

    Reply
    1. solberg73 Post author

      Haha. you may note in the -Comments- here that with the help of my trusted advisors I came to peace with the occasional ‘Unanswered’, and in fact, never really intended to become a proactive nag.
      Your writing is so exceptional that it should be no surprise to see the Universe return calls. And everyone is entitled to pick up the phone, or not, by his own lights. Great to be in cyber-touch with you.

      Reply

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