Ten quick items, bulletized. One of them, at least, may speak to you:

I have a lot of unrelated stuff to cover, none of it worth a dedicated post with cartoon and themed song. Read on:

1) Word count is magically back today. Now on the Reader you can at least tell whether it’s a two-line bon-mot or War and Peace. But:

2) The horrid ‘condom’ popup you get when clicking on a post in the Reader, (‘Condom’, because it protects you from instant contact with the actual post) is still in place. Plus: I just discovered that you need to position the post-of-choice near the very top of the Reader panel, otherwise The Condom only shows you the first line or two of the post… that all you wanted to do was read, dammit! Big Fail 4 WP, but that’s not news.
3) I’ve now discovered  two other sites that have ‘Distracted by Zombies’ Disease. After five seconds loading their page, the screen kinda blues out, the hourglass or whatever from your mouse goes into an endless wait, and “YOU CAN’T KILL IT” without shutting off your computer and re-booting. It’s even best to wait five minutes before re-booting. I have no idea what the virus (or failed plug-in) is. Anyone can help us find out? The latest ‘victim’ is a site called ‘Moz-from-Xanga 405’ or something. WP sez I need to look at him. Sez he’s ‘Followed by sites you’ve Liked’. Problem is I never ‘Like’-ed anyone here. ‘Nother WP Fail.
4) I just realized that of a hundred or so Comments I’ve gotten, only one or two were from anyone not an ex-Xangan. What does this mean? It’s not like I don’t spend an hour each night commenting on loads of posts I find in ‘Topics’. Sometimes they even reply, but hardly any ever read me at all.
Guess I should just pressure everyone I ever knew from Xanga to get on here and suffer like the rest of us if I want more readers. Of course they’ll need to be as sweet as Present Company, to whom I’m eternally grateful.
5) Lost my second-last chicken last night. About 3AM I heard a cluck..CLUCK…OY, F*CK THIS!”;   a bird being dragged off to lunch by a fox or jackal. This one, a ‘gift’ leghorn, never learned to sleep in the trees.
So now I can take a chance on planting out broccoli. One chicken who’s left can’t gobble all the sprouts. Or can she?
6) Also in the ‘Death’ category, my kitten, another one somebody just tossed into my garden for me to find, tame, and raise, finally laid his poor mite-ridden diseased body down for the count. I have no idea what feline malady could cause a furry friend to become catatonic, to cry day and night, to lose all control of its functions, and to just give it up. RIP, Kid. I tried my best.
7) The lawyers from the Israel Broadcasting Authority are demanding $500 from me.   I haven’t had a working TV set up for 7 years at least, and don’t even listen to them on the radio. My car has no radio either. So I should be able to ask for a reprieve, right?
Sure, in a normal country. Where 999/1000 conscience-less yodelers haven’t already bald-facedly tried to lie their way out of paying the fee. I can’t even tell the truth here anymore.
8) Speaking of Hell, I also can’t approach an intersection and expect that the fact that I’m not signalling in either direction will be read as ‘I’m going straight, you fool!’ And that’s because 999/1000 drivers never bother themselves to signal, ever. Nor do they even look at my signals when I *am* turning. It’s just not an important part of the car, I guess. And somehow, this bitch and the previous one (with the TV tax) are the same disease. I’m clean, but suffer for their sins just the same.
9) I have so many doves who’ve learned to love me by now that I can’t set a beer can anywhere outside now, not for five minutes, without one or two of them sitting on it and pooping into the little hole in the top. as a token of appreciation. So I now have to carry a cup, a ‘beer-protector’ to place upside down on on every can. IDK, back when I was  on Xanga I never had this problem! Another WP Fail.
10) Ending on a happy note, I did finally snap a photo of one of my better-disciplined bird friends. I call her ‘The Schnozz-ette’. Her S-O is ‘Jimmy’ (after (Durante) You may note the resemblence. I do worry that if she turns into a lush, with a beak like that she could drain a $3 beer in ten seconds.

shnozz 007
Thanks for reading, and comments on any of the ten points will be gratefully accepted./JS


24 thoughts on “Ten quick items, bulletized. One of them, at least, may speak to you:

    1. solberg73 Post author

      On the tax, it appears I might have to invite them to visit my tin can of a shack and search for TVs. I have nine, each tagged as ‘works: apr ’07 or ‘pix, no sound’. i find ’em on the sidewalk and can’t pass up a bargain even if I don’t need it. They’ll all have to be moved now into the woods i guess.
      And I got yer beer data, bro. Tried Heineken this morning specifically to test the Birds. They loved it no more or less than rot-gut. It’s the shiny can, mebbe.
      The kitty i wuz gonna put down today anyway. he suffered around the clock, Horrible disease, and not the usual herpes pulmonary-distress thing so many cats die of.
      My plan included Valium and then once asleep, a painless, I don’t know, whatever works,. without haunting my sleep for decades..

    1. solberg73 Post author

      Duncan, I’m trying to remember the last time you commented and I *didn’t* need to Google something there-in. Might be once or twice back in long-term memory.
      The locals just call it ‘Shaldag’. I’m doing a house right now on Shaldag Street. I knew it was a king-fisher, but never searched for a proper latin title.
      I just now searched ‘symensis’, expecting ‘A memory disorder where the victim confabulates a false and idealized past’.
      It does appear that that that prurient Lineaus got his rocks off , if he indeed chose the genus name. but with a beak like that, ‘penisus’ would be a more natural choice.
      Sncere thanks, as usual, for widening my knowledge-base.

      1. somewittyhandle

        I’m afraid my typo may have led you off on a wild kingfisher-chase. I meant to type smyrnensis (note the r n together in the middle which looks like a m, which is what I mistakenly typed). The bird (halcyon smyrnensis, the Smyrna Kingfisher) is named after the ancient Aegean city of Smyrna.

        1. solberg73 Post author

          Yes I noted that discrepancy, and am familiar with Symra, but there is still room for Lineaus to have added a sexual touch. His flower names read like Lolita…

  1. eleanorio

    I know why 999.9% of your comments are from ex-pat Xangans. If you go to my blog, you will note that the only comments I get are also from ex-Xangans and ex-Diarylanders. No one else knows (or cares) about me and what I have to say. Of course, it helps that I have turned off the search engine option. I don’t particularly want random people finding me, especially students and colleagues of whom I say disparaging things from time to time. WP doesn’t have blog-rings like Xanga and Diaryland do. There is no “read next blog” button as there is on Blogspot. I have no idea how to find blogs to read. So I expect others have the same trouble finding me (and you).

    1. solberg73 Post author

      I in fact do what I can to be found. Oh and worshiped, of course, ha. One needent be my friend to like my songs, right? Hmm… And I post about WP itself lately, because, other than death and taxes, it’s something in common with my potential suitors. Whe refuse to suit up and play ball.
      i thought of faking some horrible disease, for the sympathy vote, but the Evil Eye, you know. My luck i’d contract it within a week, or even something more horrid on the horor-spectrum.
      Oh, and I’d willingly read lots of your posts, even not knowing you, just for the pure human-interest of it. Or to see what you secretly think of my third cousin, the one who moved to Quebec to go to school:)..

      1. eleanorio

        I guess that’s the difference between a “diary”, which is what I write, and a “column”, which is what I say you produce. I don’t want to be found; you do. Don’t worry, I will continue to read and comment. You can’t escape!

        1. solberg73 Post author

          ha, i was in the Reader ‘condom’ pop-up when you called, clicked the ‘new comment red-light’, and *that* pop-down was then hidden behind the condom sub-reader. that’s three clicks I’ll never get back.Oy

  2. Roadkill Spatula

    WP etiquette is indeed different. I have non-Xangans following my blog, but they never comment. A friend of mine recently reposted his “Most popular post ever” and it had only one comment. He said he tracks his stats on how many people read his blog using some program or other. Comments don’t come into his calculations. I think it’s a non-WP site.

    In Colombia, traditionally, the one universal hand signal for drivers (regardless of whether the blinkers worked) was hand down, palm back as if to say “stop”, and it meant, “Watch, I’m going to do something.” Nowadays there are a few people who use blinkers as God intended them to be used, but driving there is more akin to the amazing behavior of a swarm of gnats than to the tidiness of American lane usage..

    Weird about the birds pooping in your beer. Maybe it’s Nature’s way of encouraging you to become a teetotaler.

      1. solberg73 Post author

        In my view the word does not appear hyphenated, but there are seven places to read the comment, each one more dysfunctional than its pre-
        And our swarm of kosherdriver- gnats is a disgrace to humanity. Time, real time, is wasted at so many intersections by the ugly refusal to do the right thing and signal.
        The root problem is that signaling is, at the first level of analysis, a purely altruistic act, done for the benefit of others. And get an Israeli behind the wheel and the last thing he wants to be accused of is altruism. That’s worse than suckerdom.
        Ok, I use Statcounter, a wonderful free and sweet program which tracks visitors. By IP and ISP, mind you, so you do have to memorize who, in what town, uses which supplier. it also says which pages were viewed. and for me, informs me how many times an hour the FBI studies my site for hints of world domination designs. Answer: at least 5 times a day, around the clock. ‘criminal investigations department’, they add. It’d be scary if I had anything to hide.

  3. whyzat

    I’ve had strangers “follow” me, but when I go to their blog, it is usually some professional-looking thing and they only followed me to get me to follow them and increase their readership. I don’t follow anyone unless I can tell that they are Xanganians.
    I’ve had a bee fall into my pop can, but never had a bird poop into one! Birds consider my husband a target for some reason. I’ve never known anyone who has gotten pooped on as many times as he has!
    Pretty bird!

    1. solberg73 Post author

      Yes, the kingfisher is astonishingly lovely. Birds seem to poop to express themselves, My chicken wanders into the kitchen on purpose just to poop on the floor.
      And I’ve also been ‘followed’ by pro fan-boy collectors. Ignore them, they’ll go away. my disappointment is the lack of a feeling that if someone takes the time to write a thoughtful comment on your lonesome site, you ought to at least acknowledge it. i have maybe thirty un-answered comments, either ‘pending moderation’ or simply ignored.

    1. solberg73 Post author

      sorry for the spilt tea. I try to mainly complain about the ‘clear and present danger’ annoyances, those which anyone sane would be equally incensed by. I have lots more, by I’s already written the title and WP frowned on changing it mid-stream.

  4. ordinarybutloud

    I love it that you carry a beer protector with you now. WP Win!!! Also, I *always* signal. Always. I signal when I’m changing lanes, turning, or want to do something otherwise unlikely, like cross a parking lot diagonally, or what-have-you. The power of the signal. I believe in it. My kids, on the other hand, believe in the horn.

    1. solberg73 Post author

      5:30 and dark here already; The Birds are all asleep, heads tucked under wings, and now I can enjoy a brew without the B-pro. Until Hitchcock wakes ’em up again…
      I do remember Boston; 5-way intersections and the loudest horn made it across first. But that’s a US anomaly Behavior on all fronts was sweeter in the States, I recall. (Unless I’m halcyon-ning the place. memory does that.

    1. solberg73 Post author

      Yes, and odd that the Lutherans who re-work, for the worse, this bang-yer-head site have seemingly forgotten the 95 feces tacked on the door. I only agreed to use WP because I thought they stood for un-mediated contact with the Supreme Being,
      By the bye, the workaround is simple: click, in the Reader, on ‘3900 more words’ or whatever. Takes you right to God’s ear, and no extraneous clicks needed if His advice happens to be less that the Epiphany you expected. .

  5. promisesunshine

    now i feel compelled to answer each bullet point. i am sorry about that. 1) there’s a word count somewhere? i had no idea 2) i’ve missed the condom ad because i still refuse to use the reader. this means i miss a lot of cool stuff, but too dang bad 3) weird and unpleasant 4) ex-xangans are the best. 5) b’bye chicken, hello broccoli 6) that sounds awful. 😦 7) that sucks 8) what is up with that? i’m well-trained to use the turn signal. not so good at parallel parking, but that’s another issue. 9) i forget what this one is and i’m tired of looking up again. 10) cool bird. oh, 9 was the beer protector. share the beer.

    1. solberg73 Post author

      Since i posted this, ‘word-count has come back, along with the workaround of clicking on it, (and not the title) in order to avoid the stupid condom. Thank OBL for that tip.
      Plus, looks like a banner year for broccoli here in the promised land.Too bad, though, that I can;t sell it for $20 a gram, like other nameless veggies.
      I have lots of competition for beer; birds, cats, even slugs.. Everybody wants a hit.


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