Israeli Elections just leave me “all the number”

     Yes, with a silent ‘B’. I ws already righteously apathetic and politically anesthetized after watching the charade we call our parliament, but the goods on display this go-round have left me all the number.
Ok, I voted. Otherwise I couldn’t in good conscience claim that my vote did nothing to change the  situation. Now I can proudly say I at least cancelled out the vote of one (1) local native. Preferably a supporter of the oddly-named ” United Torah Judaism” party, who littered our town’s streets last night with thousands of stupid paper slips. literally a sea of wasted trash, awaiting now the more noble immigrants from Ethiopia and Eritrea who have to sweep them up.I extremely doubt that Moses had anything like this outrage in mind.
On the left, where I naturally find myself, there is only bickering. Also on the right, with the smooth-talking but ultimately fatally-flawed Bibi is doing what he thinks necessary to remain in power. One would think that after his first fiasco-ridden term he would have simply left the stage, moved to  some  trailer-home with no name on the mailbox. If only after being caught on-camera using paint-thinner from Home Center to un-glue the stickers from presents, decals which said ‘a gift to the people of Israel’.
I used to vote communist, I don’t know, kinda like a dog who does stuff just because he can. But the stakes are too high this year for whimsy. So I asked quite a few friends whom I should vote for, and how much it might be worth to them. Nobody’s talking serious bucks this time. And so I went with the dream I had last night. The poll-watchers ask me for my ID card number. I ask “You want ‘all the number?” “Yeah”, they insist. And I’m thinking how the process is leaving me ‘all the number’. Only works in English though.
If only elections were about, like vowels, or silent letters. Then I’d come alive, for sure. I’ve got ‘Spanish Spinach’ coming up here, along with thousands of other Seed-sower inspired veggie-endeavours. Try saying ‘that’ fast a couple times. And to me it’s more interesting than the voting thingie.


22 thoughts on “Israeli Elections just leave me “all the number”

  1. HappierHeathen

    A fella much wiser’n myself, I think it was Noam Chomsky or George Carlin… or was it Dick Van Patten? … once said that if voting could change things they wouldn’t allow you to do it. The first time I heard that I figured it couldn’t be right. But, ya know, ever since I gave up hope I feel much better.

  2. jsolberg

    @HappierHeathen – Yes, sounds like Carlin to me. And he’s right I suppose. here we love to call election results ‘A Revolution!!’ there have been a few surprising upsets, but this year will not be one of them.Guess you could say “A Revolution Y/N” will not be on a ballot.

  3. splork_splork

    “All the number” sounds like a good description of how I often feel about U.S. elections, too. Well, at least from a left-of-center perspective, things turned out much better than anticipated.

  4. jsolberg

    @splork_splork – yes. Val, I must admit that the results are less horrid than feared. I don’t care much for that silly lapid; his head looks like it’s fastened on with springs on the rear deck of an oldsmobile. Guess that shows how deep *I* am, ha.5 AM and now I’ll listen to what the talking heads have to say; your analysis is still the most sane piece I’ve read- love your writing/JS

  5. Roadkill_Spatula

    I was in a big Penske truck on the way from Dallas to Tampa on election day, so I didn’t vote. There was no candidate about which I felt enthusiastic, in any case. I hate it when voting comes down to “the least worst” rather than “excellent choice”.Home Center is in Colombia, too. A Sodimac company, whoever that is. A Home Depot that sells sheets and dishes and weird off-brand tools like single-speed drills.

  6. angys_coco

    It is nice to read up on other elections for a change and to know what is going on. It is also interesting that to vote, and to find that person who really speaks for you… is hard to find! Everybody comes with this huge package.

  7. Ipoplikewhitey

    Yeah, i was talking with my family about the elections right before I left. The consensus at the time was that there was no choice about United Israel, so the real vote would be which fringe party do you want to have more sway in the coalition. C’est la politique.

  8. elgan

    While no electoral process is ideal, Israel’s has to be one of the worst. I don’t know why it persists. I, too, am looking forward to the spring sprouts. Be well, JS.

  9. jsolberg

    @elgan – I missed seeing your comment until now. As I told Gal (above), there’s a real shortage of hope-inspiring personnae. The previous R/L/religious nuts impasse has given way to todays even stupider dead end. I’m looking for an example somewhere of a democracy which actually works as advertised. Not good enough that we have an edge on, say, Egypt. or our other fine neighbors, who like to be-head the losers. Looks like the “lamp unto the nations” might be short on oil at present.

  10. somewittyhandle

    That that.Confusion can be avoided in English by expressing “all the number” as “yet more insense 8 “.Trotsky always likened the revolution to ball-licking.No doubt the Spanish word for Spanish spinach translates as Swiss Chard.

  11. MelFamy

    Was it Stalin who said that the people who count the votes matter more than the voters?Anyway, it is nice to hear stories from other dysfunctional democracies from time to time. It serves to remind us that we really don’t have it all so bad here in the US of A.

  12. somewittyhandle

    By the way, I saw a very illuminating interview with Daniel Barenboim this morning. He was talking about his mixed Israeli-Palestinian orchestra, and the mutual understanding he is trying to foster. He says it’s all about counterpoint.

  13. Kellsbella

    All this political junk is making my mind number than when I did that 60’s number.I heard that you were in the U.S. not too long ago. Didn’t bother calling me, huh? That’s a fine how do you do!

  14. jsolberg

    @MelFamy – Yes, I did reflect on how the US R/L stalemate is mirrored here. We always endeavour to copy only the worst of foreign cultures. But it may be intrinsic to the human brain; take any ten men and five wanna build a ship and see what’s over the horizon, the other five prefer to sit in the hut and eat worms. Or Newts

  15. jsolberg

    @somewittyhandle – He didn’t mention having to lock up the tympani mallets after each performance, did he? (A joke) I’m solidly on his side. Just that the maestro does have a habit of insisting on playing Wagner any chance he gets.

  16. Roadkill_Spatula

    Speaking of removing stickers at big-box hardware stores, I discovered that at Home Depot they use a citrus-oil air freshener to remove their shelf labels. It works better and stinks less than Goo-Gone.


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