Four men on a ladder

     Today’s customer for roof repair just sent me this picture he took while I was working. Didn’t mention anything ‘strange’ about it. But I should have known: He has a full-sized helicopter cockpit he built in the basement, rigged to a nifty simulator program. I checked out the controls a few minutes, knowing full well that I’d then dream all night that I was flying a chopper, and that’s what happened exactly.
  But today another marvel came into view: the two larger-than-life ‘sculptures’ of Galapagos-clone turtles in the backyard were mysteriously at  different spots each time I glanced at them from above. Made me distrust my already failing memory. I called down to Gidi at one point ‘Why’re you moving the ‘hafetzei-noi’ (‘art-objects’, roughly) bro?’
He just laughed, “I’ll show you when you finish.”
    And sure enough, they were very much alive, and moved themselves, albeit slowly.  He’s had them for ten years, purchased quietly at one day out of the egg and the size of a chicken hatchling. We agreed that I will supply them all their culinary requirements; leftover garden produce of all stripes. Something about seeing them close-up tickled me to death, and I’m still trying to figure why.

So… that’s the news today from the oddly-named Holy Land, where last week we had raging winds,  hail, and torrential downpours which just about shut down the country and this week I had to install fans in the greenhouses just to keep them below 90 degrees. Oy, as they say. Lucky there are four of me, otherwise I’d never keep up with it.


15 thoughts on “Four men on a ladder

  1. Lovegrove

    Nice to see you’re still with us Solberg. Always a pleasure, even if sometimes your clever twists of language makes my brain hurt. interesting to see you and your three brothers climbing the same ladder. Is there a shortage of ladders in Bible country? Let me know and Ill get the next crusade to bring a boat load of adjustable climbing appliances with ’em. Of course, you’ll have to avoid being out to the sword when you go to collect ’em, but I can’t be responsible for the requirements of the CPS (Christendom Postal Service).

  2. we_deny_everything

    You couldn’t get me on a ladder with three other guys. It’s above my pay grade. Whatever that might be. Even if they’re all clones.Wikipedia asserts that a Galápagos tortoise in an Australian zoo was documented to be at least 171 years old. So your customer’s tortoises are just toddlers.

  3. murisopsis

    I like tortoises much better than ladders. But there is no way to get 4 lads on tortoises – that only happens on ladders! You really should have a safety harness if you are lugging big planks to the roof!!

  4. miss_order

    I need four of me to keep up these days.  I am managing to keep up with everything, actually, but it involves extreme focus and moving quickly.  After tomorrow things should calm down. I keep thinking I should write a blog, but then I think, No, I should SLEEP with the tiny tiny bits of spare time I have. Or exercise, which is much needed catharsis these days. I love my babies, but I am not as fond of them when they are actual newborn babies. Give me a 2 year old any day!  It’s easy to see why you would be fascinated with a tortoise or two – very peaceful!

  5. jsolberg

    @miss_order – Aha. I’m not sure what the mommie turtle has to do for her 15-30 babies. These two are sisters, and are in 4th grade, or would be if they went to school. They live about a hundred years, I read. And with 3 older siblings to inspire, I’m assuming your newest will do everything sooner. They sure are cute, from here, from a distance and not having to be awake all night!

  6. twoberry

    We’re lucky here in Florida to live close their nesting grounds.  What an awesome experience to spend an hour at midnight watching a mama turtle lay her eggs, then diligently use her flippers to shovel sand so the babies can be all covered up and safe from predators as they sleep till they hatch, then, after she’s done shoveling, hauls ass out to sea to catch the Gulf Stream and be on her way to Australia.(And I’ve also been to Robert’s Fruit Stand south of here, where the older produce is thrown into the back yard for the resident turtles to nosh on.)

  7. Roadkill_Spatula

    There’s a great scene in a Charlie Chaplin film in which he carries both ends of a ladder. Seeing Yonni, Mannie, Moe, and Jack reminded me of it.Turtles are awesome and need no justification. I’m glad these will benefit from Solberg’s Certified Organic Produce Byproducts.Enjoyed talking with Beth about you the other day.

  8. seedsower

    I love flying dreams, I used to dream I was flying all the time, it was such a free feeling. When I watch Gone With the Wind I dream I am in Atlanta in the Civil War, loading cannons and ripping off my petticoat to bandage soldiers. Funny how things like that effect our dreams.

  9. jsolberg

    @somewittyhandle – Actually, all four of us share one paycheck, since fixed costs are lower: only one driver’s license photo, and a single shrink are examples. and it’s actually the law of the land, ever since Sybyl filed (she did not prevail) for 23 salaries.

  10. gnostic1

    “Tortoise Home Repairs” is a company name that isn’t seen much. Sad really. I see them making safe, portable, organic structures. “Sloth Eaves Installations” is also underused. “Hare Removals”. “Lion Legal Offices”. “Zebra Undergarments-For Larger Ladies”. “Missing Lynx Golf Course”.There may be a post here.  Time, time, time, see what’s become of it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s