Sorry folks but this is dead serious, as opposed to my usual confusing blend of truth and fiction.
The strangest, most unexplainable thing just happened a few hours ago and I’m still in shock. Read on.
Today. Saturday morning. Wide awake at 7AM and taking a short drive to the nearby gas station for cigs. The only place allowed to be open on Shabbat. I get to the traffic circle and suddenly HEAR A VOICE inside the car. I hit the brakes and look around for maybe a cop with a megaphone. No one in sight.
I check the radio, even though the head is disconnected and I only ever used it once. Nothing happening there. Finally I check whether my phone, a cheap little bare-bones Nokia, is in my pocket. Yes. So maybe it accidentally dialed someone? Well, the display does say ‘7’, since I’d forgotten to lock the keyboard.
And then I quickly recalled what the VOICE had said. Half Hebrew (Something like ‘hai’ag’ta et ha-mispar- (‘You dialed the number..’) followed by the plain-english word ‘Seven‘. That word I remembered as clearly as the nose on my face.
I checked the call history, hands shaking. No dialed #s, no incoming, no missed, nothing. Yet the Phone had TALKED TO ME!
There is no voice program on this phone; it barely makes calls. So, as they say, WTF???
Ok, here are the options, as far-fetched as they sound, but in the absence of any other explanation:
1) The phone does secretly have an ‘Easter Egg’ voice routine which runs only after one dials ‘7’ and leaves the phone unattended for an hour? I tried to reconstruct that, and no voices were heard.
2) The phone just decided to call someone ‘off the record’, someone who correctly guessed(?) that I had accidentally dialed a ‘7’? possible, but unlikely.
3) And now the scary part, hence the title. I simply hallucinated the VOICE. It sure didn’t sound like a delusion, and I have no history (till now) of hearing phantoms while wide awake and alert. But I guess millions of other(?) sufferers also will swear that the voices they hear, telling them off-the-wall stuff like ‘Vote Republican!’ are REAL. I know mine was real.
So how to make it happen again, or make it stop. Or at least know the truth about it? I’m at a loss, which is of course why I turn to the putative sane readers of Xanga.
Folks, this has nothing to do, nothing at all, with my seeing little oddly-dressed ladies wearing hats, out of the corner of my eye, three times a day at least. That one’s nailed down; Bonet’s Syndrome, caused by the holes in my field of vision, and the boredom of visual-processing neurons somewhere deep in my battle-scared brain.
But at least the ladies don’t tell me what number I dialed in error on my phone.
Do I need help? And what kind of a metallic-foil hat goes well with my outfits this fall? Maybe they put the tin in the lining? Anyone know?