Someone called Edward Albee a ‘playright’ and of course I had to intervene in my kind and tactful style here on Xanga:
“Your wrong, bonehead. Its ‘PLAY-WRITE!!”
He took it well, and replied: “Yeah, and the Right Brothers had the write stuff, huh? Fuck off, you little Nazi.”
Well I’ll be Albee’s public defender! Sensitive much these days?
So I vowed to dedicate my life to spelling, after a brief sojurn to gaze at the gays and straights in the straits of Hormuz, wherever that is.
Ok, the vacation did wonders for my attitude. they’re there on their Xangas, and I’m here at my command centre, high, above the fray.
But least I got back in time to defend my buddy, at the corner store, we’ll call him ‘T’, an’ he’s bravely marketing a new line of tea coolers. Some jerk was ridiculing them, sayin’ stuff
like “Wow, I seen goat piss this exact same color, man.”
I told him sharply “Don’t you tease ‘T’s teas, goat-boy!” Ha, that put him in his place.
Meanwhile Fay, a female Iron-man competitor (Iron-woman?) is working on a fearsome new approach, screaming all kind of curses at her opponents, to psych ’em out. Still, we’re talking iron-men here, so I doubt we’ll see Fay’s phase faze the competition.
Like most home bakers, you’ve probably noticed that the wild deer eating from your bread-pans set out on the window-sill to rise seem to get groggy from the treat. Yes, a recent study has confirmed gluten’s soporific effect on ungulates. So watch those doughs. Does doze after eating ’em, and are then often ravished by opportunistic bucks in rut.
Moe, of Three Stooges fame, has been signed to portray Mose Allison in a bio-flick on the jazz
musician’s life and times. Said the casting head: ‘A bunch of good candidates, but Moe’s Mose mows down the competition like a weed-whacker on meth!”
Not to spoil the suspense, but in the film ‘The Vote’, after three excruciating hours of
‘watching-paint-dry’ class drama (!), the dumb-ass Partition Petition is defeated by a narrow
margin, and you can go home already and eat all the popcorn you ‘care for’ in peace, on your own blessed couch, in your underwear.
Two thumbs down: Spoiler: As everyone by now knows, ‘No’s nose out ‘Yea’s by a narrow margin!” Not including the ten bucks you blew finding that out.
Edgar Allen Poe is often thought of as a morose schitso, frantically eying the heavens for that
damn Raven. Well, grainy photographs from his brief Italian vacation seem to tell a different
story; the author strutting his stuff on the river banks, flexing his muscles like a defiant
Mister America contender. An explanation proffered by his biographer: ‘The Po River’s pollution is anathema to most avian species, and the waters may have contained chemicals which affect the brain’s mood centers. Note to self: Check out Poe’s pose. Po’s influence and effluents need further study.”
The fraternity brothers were all seated on lines of impromptu folding lawn-chairs. Such is campus life among white males in the no-tse-tse-fly zone. Every silly Greek letter had sent its
contingent, but Tappa Kappa Rho was clearly in the majority. Something to do with Admissions and Alumni. So when the President, in mortar-board and gown-over-jeans, asked, begged, for a standing ovation, ‘Rho’s rows rose, proudly, in unison, like mushrooms after a heavy rain. Ya get what ya pay for.
Ribbons were awarded, in primary colours, at the close of last week’s raucous ‘Loudest-speakers’ contest in Twenty-nine Palms, (CA). As expected, Boris ‘Bo’ Jungles walked away, albeit deaf as a doorknob, with all the First Place bows. Bo’s Bose XJ-9000’s were just too ‘decibels much?’ for the Altecs and Jentsens of the also-rans.
Sadness. A heart-breakingly sincere experiment in urban gardening in Compton (CA) has ended, for now. Private donors had contributed implements and irrigation equipment for the cause, and local charities had enlisted the sweat-equity and participation of shelters for the abused, the hungry, the broken-spirited, in a commendable project. Reality intervened in the form of Norteno/Sudeno gang strife, with four ‘homies’ taken to local hospitals within hours of the formal opening fete.
Said one gang-ster:
“Ho’s, hoes, and a hose. Fuck that sh*t!”
Well, you can lead a horse’s ass to water…
And speaking of Compton scattering, Caltech researcher Raymond Blumentod, working primarily in his basement, has developed, sources are hinting, a prototype of a theoretical concentrated high-energy photon beam. Basically an X-ray gun, the device utilizes interactions between energized electrons and photons, and I’ll spare you the equations. Said one senior professor at Stanford we spoke to: “Ray’s rays raise the spectre of death-rays from the grave, and thus have potentially grave consequences for the defense community.” At press time, thankfully, no You Tube videos detailing the process had yet been posted.
Despite brave efforts, the Netherlands is still in a virtual tie against the encroachment of its
habitable land by the cold waters of the North Sea. Jorgen Higgenbottham, a seasoned veteran of decades of engineering projects with whom we spoke, however, projects an up-beat never-say-die attitude. “Anyone working in this field sees seas seize land year after year, much like your American ‘pioneers’ discovering’ and conquering the West.”
I didn’t respond per se to the implied critique of US manifest destiny expansionism, only
suggested that he buy a hat with a few more feathers.
The portable toilet bizness is apparently a tough racket. To wit: Louis Firecan’s novel start-up
in Essex-on-Avon, Westminstershire, UK. Funded in part by a grant from the Ministry of
Sanitation, his facilities feature built-in year-round heaters powered by solar cells, and a
unique footwear-conditining station, developed by the firm Shoehorne Ltd. The gadget, operating quietly while one ‘does his business’, gently expands the shoes, insuring a comfortable and ‘loose’ fit upon retrieval. The ‘rest-stops’ thus provide two of the three most sought after amenities among his target niche market. Still, ‘Lou’s Loos’ lose a sobering three million Euros a year, according to public records. Perhaps the third ‘amenity’s inclusion will be a game-changer, if and when it happens.