My Dear Beth: {sp? Venison, the Natural Protein.org}
I want to thank you… {Hallmark Cards.com}
for the, (ok, let’s call em the ‘small round objects’)… (Nice try, Sherlock. all_Seeds.com./ geometry_online 4 Idiots.co.ru}
…which you sent me. {Fed-Ex: the Logistical Solution}
I looked carefully this morning… {Optica:_4_ur_I’s}
…and it appears that 99% of them… {occupy_Wall_Street.org Join the fight!}
…have already raised their little heads above the surface. {micro_cephliacs_anonymous.org}
This was such a sweet thing you did for me. {‘Saccharine, the modern sweetener!’}
Truly, God seems to be blessing our little endeavor here in the Holy Land. {Oy! Get Right with God.com/ Israel in Biblical Prophesy: the Truth!/ See following page for much more…}
Perhaps I should not have had any doubts… {U2- ‘Losing my Religion’ click here for free download}
…but lately, everything I do seems to backfire. {Chilton Auto manuals: click on your make ‘n model for price!}
At any rate… {digital Sensors.com velocity/throughput, we have it!}
…I couldn’t have done it without your help. {‘Seven Steps to a More confident You‘}
And so when I get a chance… {Round_to_it.com: Jokes direct to your Inbox}
…I will send you a photo… {No file attached! Send anyway? Ok?/ Cancel?}
…of the progress… {‘Pilgrim’s Progress’ @ Amazon.com/ ‘Progress #9’, when you seriously need a Pea!}
…of my green garden. {Sustainability.org}
Just don’t pay attention… {‘A-D-D’.org We are here for you. Remember?}
…to all the weeds. {NORML.org
Yours truly, {Find Ur Tru_luv @ Carbon14_date.com
Yonatan Solberg {RootsWeb.comSearch your ancestors. Free!}
jxsolberg 
First! (Bank with confidence. Ask me how.)
@gnostic1 – Oy, we got that ‘ask me how’ phrase here, in hebrew on real-estate signs, hair-color salons, and weight-loss free-lance advisors. Perhaps one ‘how’ fits all. Great to see you first, my brother. You are usually preoccupied while the fireworks happen on my posts, tied up in sutures and scalpels. But you always enter with a bang. Don’t know how.
The sidebar ad is eLearners.com: Earn a Bible Degree. Study The Bible Online. Earn a Degree Today. Request Free Info! Isn’t irony lifelike?
Now it’s US Cellular. Break up with your phone company. Get a great deal on a new phone.
Not sure what the others were triggered by.
And these:USAA® Official Site Exclusive Rates And Services For Military Families. Join USAA Today.http://www.USAA.comGroup Auto Insurance Looking For Group Auto Insurance? Visit The Official MetLife Site!MetLife.comSign up for Google Offers Find great deals in your city from Google Offers. Sign up today!http://www.google.com/offersStudy Scripture Online Free Information on Online Bible Study, Christian Ministry, & More!www.christianeducation.com
Awesome thank-you. But I think Beth would really like you to cook for her. No pressure, here. We can all send you some great pea recipes and you can just freeze dry em or somethin and send em (astronaut food?)…..just thinkin out loud here…..Look; all’s I’m sayin is the girl is hungry!
@Roadkill_Spatula – Thanks. My inspiration here was to create a flurry of mis-construed triggers within a simple thank-you note. For comic effect. I think it works.
@Kellsbella – I do owe her several nice meals she made me, including yummy take-home dishes. let’s see how the peas do. maybe I’ll get an ad for vacuum freeze-drying.
@jsolberg – Please don’t tell me you cook. I’m already weak in the knees that you’re a musician…
@Kellsbella – Now there’s a sidebar ad for the Michigan Restaurant Assoc All Restaurant Insurance needs can be met with our competitive rates.www.michiganrestaurant.org So the comments are working, too.
I once had ads for Bonobo slacks. Don’t know what triggered that. There were some amusing exterminator ads when I posted My Life in Parasites.
That’s why I have premium – to avoid the ads… I do wonder how they make the jump from garden to male enhancement!!
@Roadkill_Spatula – Wow, that’s really interesting…. I tell ya, I’ve been chattin it up with this Muslim friend of mine and I’m gettin all these ads to meet single Muslim women…….. ads with benefits, huh?
@murisopsis – I don’t get ads at home. I have Adblock on my Firefox.
@Roadkill_Spatula – I think Bonobo slacks have no zipper.I see zero ads. Ever. Exterminated all their servers, down in the guts of my computer Hosts file. Until they make more. Parasites.
@Kellsbella – Mostly I boil water and open cans with pop-tops. But my 18-vegie soup, direct from the garden here, might make you weaker in the knees, but in a good way.
@murisopsis – That jump is easy. M/F flower parts. ‘A pistil in your pocket or are you just happy to be blooming?’ Lineaus started it, the pervert. He never saw a plant which didn’t remind him of some Latin word for genitalia.
I wonder how adz makers feel about their adz. Differently from how they feel about their adzes, surely.
On second reading, I think I got everything except the NORML weeds.
One stop shopping! Love it!
@twoberry – NORML, that’s that group who want to take the mystique out of smoking dope, commonly called ‘weed’. Once legalized, you’ll have your Grandma asking you if you want some to take home, along with leftover duck parts. Oy. Leave it cloak and dagger, I say.And I’m thrilled you got the jokes. I gushed to my son that I’d just written this really clever spoof, I was so excited. He coulda done it even hipper, but he’s busy keeping us alive. Barely 21 and sharp as an adze.
@elgan – Fun to hear you found it funny. I ‘like’ Carbon_14_dating and ‘Round_to_it’ if I must say so myself. El, I wrote an email a few days ago to my prop-manager in Pa, detailing a few problems caused by the distance, but in humorous hints and winks. Hit ‘Send’ only to see Google’s new ad for ‘We solve the trials of Ex-pat life!’ Even for a trained robot, that’s an amazing stretch, in parsing my abstruse style. Damn, the World feels new and brave these days.
Yoni, I think you would have made funny smoke signals back in the day. Or ironic talking drum monologues. Genius will find an outlet!
@MelFamy – Many thanks, and yes, I do still remember the old days beside that fire on the hill-top. We always had that jar, you know, with the copper-rich soil. Turned the flames blue-ish green, and indicated “quotes”. I usually emptied the thing in the first few hours. ‘A bunch of “brave” “white” “men” approaching from the East!’ ‘Let’s “kick some butt” as the saying goes.’ Course on drums, later, we had the colon, comma, and parentheses, but I always missed the incendiary style.
Enough about the peas already – what about the cues?
Wanted to ad something, but it’s all been covered. No, wait, surely you could have done something with Spanx.
@an_OM_aly – ‘Spanx’? Google to the rescue… after I water my peas.
peas are among my favorite vegetables. you are fortunate to be able to grow them…
@locomotiv – Wish I could send you a couple pounds, fresh. The big question here is when to plant, since our seasons have no correlation to to US climates. I’m going by temperature, cheating-early on length of daylight, and ignoring that the rainy season is about over. I’ll give them your regards./ js
@DEISENBERG – My ‘Q’s are encumbered, and in a pickle. The law requires that I refer to them as ‘Q-cumbers’ until the higher courts sort it out.
@jsolberg – Sweet…..