Purple Asters are forever. OK, 7 years, with good behavior

       A little practice for if I ever dumbly decide to raise crops which actually make money.
I sold plenty of black-eyed peas this year. Fifteen shekels for a kilo. That’s about $2 a pound.
Fine, you ‘lose a little on each basket-load, but make it up on volume.’ Somebody explain how that works; I think it’s a joke.
    The real joke, on me, is that, were I a care-free free-spirit, like @ordinarybutloud, I’d switch gears, take a chance, ‘you only live once’, ‘go with your passion’.
Not that I’m passionate about cannabis, Haven’t touched it in 40 years, what with meth, junk, acid, stuff like that who’s got time for pot?
Well some folks do, and they like to pay big shekels.
And for my part I enjoy raising plants. A perfect match.
It’s only when you have to talk to a man in uniform that you get second thoughts:



” ‘Morning officer. Yeah I heard about that little runaway doggie. Think he went that-a-way.”
“Nice try, Bub. I’m here to visit your garden.”
“Don’t you guys ever call first? Give me a chance to, you know, to clean up a bit.”
“No problem sir. Place looks pretty nice as it is. Sooo, you like flowers?”
“Well yeah, depending who I’m talking to. I mean chicks like flowers, you know what I’m sayin’?”
“These little guys over here, they look pretty healthy.”
“Nah, you wanna see healthy, come, let’s go up an’ look at the godetias, nemesias, passifloras; you’ll forget where you were.”
“No, I’m kinda interested in these here, oddly. They’re…”
Purple Asters, proud to say. Says so right on the sign I made. Raised ’em from seed.”
“Yeah, that’s always a problem in our country; finding good seed. Tell me, where did you manage to find these?”
“Oh, some guy at a kiosk gave ’em to me, to raise. He’d overheard me talking about gardening.”
“Lucky you. Got his number, by any chance? “
“No, sorry, guy. He just took mine, said he’d call sometime; Wants ’em back when they get big. He told me they have these gorgeous purple flowers, but there’s a trick making ’em bloom, so he’ll do that part for me.”
“And what does your friend look like?”
“Oh, not a friend, actually. Sorta average, dark hair, medium build. I didn’t pay much attention. Haven’t ever seen him there again since.”
“You’d probably be fascinated to know we got a nice lab, in-house: put in a sample and it reads out genus and species.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Latin’s so cold, so clinical. I’ll just live with ‘Purple Asters’.”

“So maybe I’ll just borrow one of these right here. You can come down to the station to get it back when we have the answer.”

“Nah. It’s really not important to…”
“You know something…what’d you say your name was?”
“Um… ‘Hezi'”
“Hezi what?”
“Hezi Greblos. I’m new here. Didn’t even get a chance to register with the Population Ministry yet.”
“OK, so anyway, ‘Hezi’, these plants look so much like another plant I’m familiar with.”
“Yeah, small, green, couple-a-leaves. Hard to tell most plants apart.”
“They even smell like ’em, I could swear.”
“My apologies, Lieutenant. Skunk came through here last night, he  an’ the kitty had a fight. Damn, the whole place stinks. And you should see my little kitty! C’mon, lets meet the poor fella. Think he’s down there near where you parked.”

“Look here, Solberg. We know everything. Let’s not play games. You wanna make this easy?”
“Actually, I kinda get off on bein’ a wise guy, tell the truth.”
“Think again. I can introduce you to some other men who  love flowers…”
“So what you sayin’? Fifty-fifty?”
“You were dropped on your head, Solberg? Eighty-twenty. And dry, no sticks and stems.”
“Fuck. I’d rather just bury ’em in the compost. You can even watch. Only take a second…”
“Little late for that, kid. We got a deal? Or mebbe you wanna try on these matching wrist-bands. Sorry, no watch. It’s back-ordered…”
“Ok, Officer dirt-ball. But I don’ wanna see any of your goons around here for the next six months. One badge in my face and I sing like a bird, got that?”
Purple Asters. This could be the start of a beautiful friendship. Nice garden, Hezi. Knock ’em dead.”
Exit.


At least that’s the plan.
 If I needed one.
Which I don’t.

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19 thoughts on “Purple Asters are forever. OK, 7 years, with good behavior

  1. murisopsis

    Oh my. We looked at a house for sale that had a nice little garden – tomato plants. Mostly. There were some very odd tomatoes in that garden… Now I know that they were purple asters. What a relief.

    Reply
  2. jsolberg

    @ordinarybutloud – My problem is that pesky extradition agreement, US/Israel. That’s where you come in. Great fun; I’ll live in your garage, sell mummy-doll art to finance the fight all the way to the Supreme Court. So what if we lose, life is all about plot, characters, bears, tie-dyed leisure-wear, stuff like that there…

    Reply
  3. Roadkill_Spatula

    I remember pointing out an “aster” plants in one of your photos last year. Or maybe that one was a “keister”. Glad to see Mr. Greblos of Ferris, TX, putting in another appearance. I wonder if he’s related to the Griblos of Duncanville. There’s a Dallas road named after one (Grady). His namesake was in my oldest daughter’s class at the high school.

    Reply
  4. jsolberg

    @Roadkill_Spatula – Yes, I searched for that photo in vain for the post, remember your sharp eye.Much appreciate your research; The alias says to me ‘grave-less’, aka, the un-buried. (Ger). Perhaps I’m channeling zombies in my subconscious. If I ever wheel about Ferris, at least I’ll have paisanos.

    Reply
  5. jsolberg

    @twoberry – So what yer sayin’ is I should get lucky; a cop who appreciates the flexibility of the letters? Loves classical music? Reads the erudite press on political issue? Ha, I’ll call it a sign from heaven if he both reads and writes coherently. Don’t happen much here; that’s why we have 2-man cars. One of each. ETAOINS is a good name for my faux scrabble-plant, I’m thinking. Re-arrange that, dress it up a bit, and get back to me.

    Reply
  6. twoberry

    @jsolberg – You are quite the TONY, a stylish or distinctive person.  TONY is a noun only in the British lexicon, as opposed to the sparser list of words adhered to by Canadian and U.S. Scrabble players.  (Israelis also play according to the U.S. lexicon, but I hear they’ve been getting braver of late and now all know the British word TONIES, the plural of the nounal TONY.)  A key strategical point is to remember that if TONIES is on the board, you can stick an A on the front of it to make ATONIES, plural of ATONY, lack of normal tone or tension, as in muscles.  ATONIES is an anagram of ETAOINS, or as we Scrabble junkies like to arrange the letters, AEINOST.

    Reply
  7. jsolberg

    @twoberry – You-uns guys sure have a developing world of your own. Samuel F.B. Morse was the guy who hipped me to the letter-frequency ‘word’. Oh and ‘A child’s First Golden-Book of Cryptography’, my TAB-Books selection for 3rd grade; I could only afford one, not having sold enough salve to my neighbors.(I may be slowly understanding you need to know IN INS SPINS SPINSTER SPINSTERS)

    Reply
  8. Kellsbella

    @jsolberg – You know and I know that ta dreaded Ta Noise is no faux scrabble plant. Fool your readers at your own peril! Ta Noise is not tarrific and it’s not ta be taken so nonchalantaly. You do realise ta truth will set you free, right? Come ta your senses and tell ta truth. Do it taday. Pour moi, s’il vous plait? Must leave….ta-ta  

    Reply
  9. Kellsbella

    @jsolberg – I love reading your posts. I’ve been lurking here for a while now…. Don’t tell the cop. I’ve already been accused of stalking, and I neither want nor need another restraining order on my record…. 

    Reply
  10. Kellsbella

    @jsolberg – I assure you that I am in the Sunshine State. I think it was probably that kid you bullied in the third grade. Some folks just don’t forget having their ding-dongs taken away. Oh, I’ll keep quiet about your petit larceny…..

    Reply
  11. jsolberg

    @Kellsbella – Thanks, but it gonna cost me, right? ha. No worry, you (an’ knowlogy) have been in a file, the ‘good’ pile, for a while. Dunno, I went to grade school with in-breds who probably still can’t even plug in a computer after 50 years of trying to master it. It’s a mystery.

    Reply
  12. Kellsbella

    I can’t figure out how to post here. So,uh, yeah, thanks for the smack in the face, J.  I just really hope one night you are alone and wandering down a deep, dark secluded alley with ding-dongs in hand. I’ll be waiting….

    Reply

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