A little practice for if I ever dumbly decide to raise crops which actually make money.
I sold plenty of black-eyed peas this year. Fifteen shekels for a kilo. That’s about $2 a pound.
Fine, you ‘lose a little on each basket-load, but make it up on volume.’ Somebody explain how that works; I think it’s a joke.
The real joke, on me, is that, were I a care-free free-spirit, like @ordinarybutloud, I’d switch gears, take a chance, ‘you only live once’, ‘go with your passion’.
Not that I’m passionate about cannabis, Haven’t touched it in 40 years, what with meth, junk, acid, stuff like that who’s got time for pot?
Well some folks do, and they like to pay big shekels.
And for my part I enjoy raising plants. A perfect match.
It’s only when you have to talk to a man in uniform that you get second thoughts:
” ‘Morning officer. Yeah I heard about that little runaway doggie. Think he went that-a-way.”
“Nice try, Bub. I’m here to visit your garden.”
“Don’t you guys ever call first? Give me a chance to, you know, to clean up a bit.”
“No problem sir. Place looks pretty nice as it is. Sooo, you like flowers?”
“Well yeah, depending who I’m talking to. I mean chicks like flowers, you know what I’m sayin’?”
“These little guys over here, they look pretty healthy.”
“Nah, you wanna see healthy, come, let’s go up an’ look at the godetias, nemesias, passifloras; you’ll forget where you were.”
“No, I’m kinda interested in these here, oddly. They’re…”
“‘Purple Asters‘, proud to say. Says so right on the sign I made. Raised ’em from seed.”
“Yeah, that’s always a problem in our country; finding good seed. Tell me, where did you manage to find these?”
“Oh, some guy at a kiosk gave ’em to me, to raise. He’d overheard me talking about gardening.”
“Lucky you. Got his number, by any chance? “
“No, sorry, guy. He just took mine, said he’d call sometime; Wants ’em back when they get big. He told me they have these gorgeous purple flowers, but there’s a trick making ’em bloom, so he’ll do that part for me.”
“And what does your friend look like?”
“Oh, not a friend, actually. Sorta average, dark hair, medium build. I didn’t pay much attention. Haven’t ever seen him there again since.”
“You’d probably be fascinated to know we got a nice lab, in-house: put in a sample and it reads out genus and species.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Latin’s so cold, so clinical. I’ll just live with ‘Purple Asters’.”
“So maybe I’ll just borrow one of these right here. You can come down to the station to get it back when we have the answer.”
“Nah. It’s really not important to…”
“You know something…what’d you say your name was?”
“Hezi Greblos. I’m new here. Didn’t even get a chance to register with the Population Ministry yet.”
“OK, so anyway, ‘Hezi’, these plants look so much like another plant I’m familiar with.”
“Yeah, small, green, couple-a-leaves. Hard to tell most plants apart.”
“They even smell like ’em, I could swear.”
“My apologies, Lieutenant. Skunk came through here last night, he an’ the kitty had a fight. Damn, the whole place stinks. And you should see my little kitty! C’mon, lets meet the poor fella. Think he’s down there near where you parked.”
“Look here, Solberg. We know everything. Let’s not play games. You wanna make this easy?”
“Actually, I kinda get off on bein’ a wise guy, tell the truth.”
“Think again. I can introduce you to some other men who love flowers…”
“So what you sayin’? Fifty-fifty?”
“You were dropped on your head, Solberg? Eighty-twenty. And dry, no sticks and stems.”
“Fuck. I’d rather just bury ’em in the compost. You can even watch. Only take a second…”
“Little late for that, kid. We got a deal? Or mebbe you wanna try on these matching wrist-bands. Sorry, no watch. It’s back-ordered…”
“Ok, Officer dirt-ball. But I don’ wanna see any of your goons around here for the next six months. One badge in my face and I sing like a bird, got that?”
“Purple Asters. This could be the start of a beautiful friendship. Nice garden, Hezi. Knock ’em dead.”
At least that’s the plan.
If I needed one.
Which I don’t.