Chicken:1 Solberg:0 (but at least I’m ‘Not Insane’)

     First, many thanks to everyone who helped me through this avian mystery. Admittedly trivial compared to real issues, like a US election campaign in search of an opposition rooster without an embarrassing comb-over.
As you can see in this spy-camera photo, my disappearing hen made another brief appearance this morning. Thank god.  I was ready.
She ate breakfast energetically, ravenously, like an anorexic defiantly renouncing thinspo.
And then, as I watched through the crack in the door, she put her covert plan into operation: A quick, plausibly-deniable excuse to her Mom and Sister ‘Be right back, guys.’, and she ‘jogged,’ (no other word for it), in “the wrong direction” 20 meters or so, stopped, did a perfect 360 scan of the horizon for a ‘tail’, then  non-chalantly made a bee-line for her Safe-House. Under a pile of Ag-equipment I hadn’t even checked, thinking even a hummingbird couldn’t get in there. She did.
Ok, she’s obviously a trained agent. I may have a bit of familiarity with the subject, and I’d work with her on any mission requiring stealth and deceit. And fresh eggs for breakfast.

Altogether an instructive episode. Not every day one discovers he’s probably not yet insane.


20 thoughts on “Chicken:1 Solberg:0 (but at least I’m ‘Not Insane’)

  1. PPhilip

    Chickens and dogs sell out for food. After all they have become sort of domesticated (dependent upon man). Thus dogs gives us affection and chickens give up the unborn children (eggs)So did you get an egg today? if not then it is chicken 2 solberg 0

  2. jsolberg

    @Roadkill_Spatula – Two points, Tim: Across the road is a rooster, and I caught myself being muy relieved after I determined that she wasn’t cheating on me with the jerk(!) Where’s that at?And no less ‘duh’, it hit me pretty hard, seeing her re-appear out of the miasma and promptly disappear again, yesterday. I sat me down and seriously asked ‘Is this how it all ends guy, with ghostly apparitions and phantom clucks?’ Oh well, at least I didn’t hear ‘Nevermore.’

  3. we_deny_everything

    Defected to a Safe-Duchy? We interrogated the count ruthlessly but with no success. Finally we raised a handaxe threateningly: “Last Chance!” And as we brought down the blade, he screamed, “Wait! I’ll talk!” But it was too late, decapitation.If this story has a moral, it is: DON’T HATCHET YOUR COUNTS BEFORE THEY CHICKEN.

  4. Lakakalo

    Solberg, you tower above the competing beasts like a giraffe in a circus parade, except for the 40 foot whooping crane.I’m feeling kinda’ annoyed at being beaten to the line about the chicken & the road.Er… a word of caution though, if the agent is well trained, you might do well to remove fresh eggs from your breakfast menu.:D

  5. jsolberg

    @Lakakalo – Sadly, I haven’t been able to eat their eggs. It feels like…cannibalism or something. Weird. I had a cartoon on my wall for the longest time, The New Yorker. Guy and his wife eating breakfast, a hen outside on the window-sill asking ‘So… how’d you like the eggs?’

  6. dirtbubble

    Ah the old renegade chicken ruse eh? You fell right into their trap. While you were out shadowing the decoy, the other two where likely going through your things.

  7. murisopsis

    Sounds like she’s gone all broody on you. Hope you can afford to feed a few more mouths. No doubt the cloacal kiss was accomplished with the Rooster next door. Did the neighbor film it? Is that considered voyeurism?

  8. jsolberg

    @murisopsis – They take turns sitting on un-fertilized eggs, so there’s hope she didn’t cheat on me, just decided to play mama-hen. Such horrid weather here, I’m glad she has a warm place to wait it out. I do need to get my hands on that film, when he’s out. But I ned to purchase a replacement dummy before I act. Shhh


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