Take a look at the photo from a few days ago. How many chickens does Johnny have?
Sometimes it’s easier to count tails, then figure ‘One tail=one chicken’ and so forth.
Why is this important? Mainly because for the last three days I’d had only Two Chickens. I was very sad. Horrible dreams of a wicked fox or jackal dragging off my helpless third-bird by the neck; me running after them barefoot and nekkid in the freezing mud and rain, the victim gurgling at me: ‘How could you have allowed this to happen?’
So imagine my Happiness when I awoke just now at 5:30 AM and saw THREE CHICKENS waiting for breakfast!
‘Good morning, Blackie. Good morning, Red-neck 1, and… Good morning Red-neck 2!! I thought you wuz daid!”
Yes, that what I said. Out loud, for the neighbor’s surveillance cameras.
Because I just don’t trust my eyes anymore.
Two minutes to make a quiet cup of coffee, and I looked out the door again.
Two chickens! As if it had all been a dream. Was it?
I’ve now looked everywhere in my couple acres, under every tree, up on the roof… in my sock-drawer. She’s gone. Again. If she in fact was ever real. No whirring of wings, no frantic cries during the 2-minute interval, I would have heard.
I’m left with the terrifying possibility that my grief has made me delusional. That I only thought I spoke with three birds.
May need to hang number-tags on the dear things. Bird-brains, they’ll get used to it. They’ll just have to. I will not have chickens just appearing and disappearing in front of my eyes. That would be Insanity. I’ve read up on it. Pretty son you ferget how two spel, yu loose ur paswerd an u cain’t even aks fer xanga hellp.. .