Ought-one be Clever?

      Yes, way back in 20’01, before I knew the joys and horrors of Xanga, Ms Muse had already mewed into my ear: “If you must talk nonsense, puhleese try ‘n make it rhyme.”
“Yer sayin’ my ‘mind is on vacation, but my mouth is working overtime‘?” I asked, calmly.
“Nothin’ personal.” she backtracked, “It’s just today’s mantra. The Front Desk, you know. We’re sayin’ that to everybody this week.”
I struggled to deal with the news:
“Bu-but, I thought you were mine alone?”
“I am, Johnny, I am.”, and she wrapped her inspiring arms around me till I almost fainted.
“Today at least.”

    Someone teach that girl to quit while she’s ahead, but seriously…
When you scan the Front Page, do you pause upon seeing a title which radiates an active brain behind the keyboard? I know I do. Hell I’d even click on a Thin-spo if she had the  calories to simply title it On the Verge of an Urge to Purge. Eww. Or even Religion: Me, my God and my Dog in Ogden, although lots of Mormon posts seem to throw in an extraneous’M’.
I have subs like MelFamy, for example, who would rather eat a barge-load of worms than post without a title-to-die-for. His latest, “They shoot sunrises, don’t they?” delivers both super shots of the Florida locale but also gives the gawker that happy feeling of knowing there’s a mind behind the find, so to speak.
And as Chrome-Poet discusses poetically on his current blog, killer lines have a habit of slipping out of reach unless promptly tied to the bedposts. I’m thinking that they are actually only germinated under the warmth of blankets, a place where too few think to bring a pen and paper.
Of course, an entry doesn’t live or die on snazz alone. Pity the sucker with a zinger lead and nowhere to take it to lunch.
But by and large the two appear together in the better restaurants. If I were more industrious I’d continue to cite examples from nearly all of my eye-catching Xangan friends. The two above are simply the fish of the day.
If I were less humble, I’d even cite a recent one of my own: “In these Cursory Times, at least Nursery Rhymes”.
And so, for me at least, if you want me to gobble up “What I finally found for breakfast”, just title it “FUN with FUNEX” and I’ll be there, enticed, faster than the toast is tossed from an un-tested toaster.



29 thoughts on “Ought-one be Clever?

  1. we_deny_everything

    Very good, but what if one does not want to be a top blogger? Maybe “Wensday’s Esay” … perhaps “hay yo wazzup?” It seems my mind is on vacation but my mouth is working overtime.(btw the theme problem is repaired.)

  2. jsolberg

    @we_deny_everything – Glad to hear it. I’ll get to Nantucket shortly. Re: xanga hopes and dreams, the relevant question, as always is “If a title shines in the woods but there’s no one there to watch…” I always assume God reads every post here, even those with {1-View} And smites the prosaic, ha.

  3. blonde_apocalypse

    Aha! Yiddish by Toyota! (or was it Honda? You remember the advertisements in the ’80’s that featured people speaking the Beaker the Muppet dialect of German? Or were those only in Germany? I remember the Germans LOVED those commercials.)

  4. ItsWhatEyeKnow

    Ought one’s titles be clever?  I suppose it depends on the answer to at least 2 questions – (1) does the author have the capacity to be clever, and (2) is the author writing for the crazy fleeting pleasure of capturing her thoughts de jour in her online journal alone, or is it more fun for her to capture the attention of other bloggers.As one who is on sign-in lock more than 95% of the time and who forgets to even bother creating a title 30% of the time, I have to admit there are times I couldn’t care less if anybody reads my post at all.

  5. jsolberg

    @blonde_apocalypse – Yes. A language so much vergnugen to f*hr with. My favorite is the Berlitz ad: German Coast Guard station monitors a weak distress signal ‘We are sinking!’ After wasting time being perplexed, one of the guys finally radios back: ‘Und vat are you sinking about?’

  6. jsolberg

    @ItsWhatEyeKnow – Personally, Lena, I’m just in it for the chicks, and I get a warm feeling when they witness my badger. Ok, seriously, my daily time-sheets reveal no trace of personality; they are never read by others. You are no stranger to the coy title yourself, an’ we gotz proof. Do you contend that, when ending a post with a question, it’s intended as rhetorical?*seriouser* I should have put this post closer to the center-line; I actually love all types of entries.Wonder if I can start a fist-fight on this issue though. That oughta drive traffic. In some direction. Don’t ever quit reading me, even when I’m old and boring:)

  7. twoberry

    There was Ought One Before, and Ought One After;I mean Before 911 there was laughterAnd After was just a disasterFor just about every poetaster(Or even poets of the non-inferior variety.Or as Twain said, Heaven for climate, Hell for society)

  8. gnostic1

    1)                        Tittles Rool!This one wired guy, right, who was awl like, in a band with me, right? Well he never douze anything musical right, right? Couldn’t hum or like have a stroke on time or anything. He wouldn’t whistle if  a wolf bit through his cheek in a Force 8 gale but he was like, totally, insumental because onze in a wile he would paws at rehersal, unclench his pent-up quads twice to relive the tencion and, in a thrice, he would say something cleverly engimatic about sex, or September or sumthink he thought nine days ago. It would be a perfect Song Tittle! I wood flesh out the rest of the song with rime words and notes fur the penist to finger. We collared hymn the Tittle Guy! We also feetured a fairly famous flautist we called the Leggend Guy.2) “Leggend and Tittle” may have won the Gold in pairs figure skating at the Calgary Winter Olympics.3)Your Morse code remarks shed light on your love for lyrics with a perfect rhythm. I was also reminded of  people who remember long strings of  random numbers by “hearing” the numbers as notes or words in a long composition. 4) Thinspo may not think you’re as clever as we do …nor will Mmitt Rommney if he hears of your commmments.

  9. jsolberg

    @murisopsis – val, you may well hve the world record for intriguing variations on the’observing…’ theme. I learned to trust observers like that.And it’s butterflies every Xanga-gurl apparently idolizes here, forgetting that the creature’s life is 95% spent as worm or pupa.

  10. jsolberg

    @dirtbubble – Oh you see, my child, that’s the whole ball-game; taking beautiful but problematic in their meaninglessness phrases and wrapping them around a Big Truth. I think we could either of us do it with this one in less than half a beer.

  11. jsolberg

    @gnostic1 – 1) Thanks for making the Rom’s name un-searchable, ha.2) yes, I chose my call sign for its musicality on Morse, and further; sound out the rhythm of FIRST sometime for a nice paradiddle surprise. I wrote a song on its theme. VE6 is also nicely pregnant.3) Your story is like,awesome man. I have so many songs based on quotes from co-workers scrawled on scraps of 2X4s. I’d go home every day with more lumber than I nailed.4) Your writing, on your site kinda defines ‘over-the-top wit. You read it and feel like having stared shoeless at teh Burning bush. It guided this post, and I’m wondering how I neglected to cite it as a case-study.

  12. jsolberg

    @Lovegrove – I forgive the departed, especially the funny departed, their sins. I have a choice?Yet ‘understandable’ for me is trying to get any kind of a grip on the wee things’ problem. I have 100 thinspos a day on my site, scavenging for something to not eat? The least I could do is to offer ’em each 1/10 of a diet candy-bar.


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