If there is any blogger here who has never, not even once, felt momentarily ignored, under-estimated, or otherwise passed-over in the Xanga mini-pecking-order, well, you probably have low-expectations-as-a-policy, or else a compromised sense of self-worth.
I’m talking about your two-paragraph Killer Comment; dead on target, original and charming as all get-out which never rates a Reply, when at the same time ten ‘LOLs’ are ‘rewarded’ with personalized gushing tahnk-yous.
Or, in Real-life, (as marginal as that realm has become), you’re ‘hanging with two friends, and decide to order a pizza. Discussion of toppings ensues, and you can’t help but notice that they’re talking ‘half peperoni and half mushrooms.’ “Half??” you think, to yourself, for now. “What about ‘No Anchovies’?” Indeed, “What about ME?? Thirds?”
This is where I come to your rescue.
Click on the little ‘Rec’ icon below this Post and you will receive your OWN DAMN PIZZA.* ‘Choice of toppings’ I’ll get from your Comment text, on my way to the Pizza joint, thence to the Overnight Cargo check-in at Ben Gurion airport.
Seriously, this is the time to ‘invoke’ Hebrew Expression # 27. Gaze at a point somewhere between your two thoughtless ‘Friends’ and the ceiling, hold both arms outstretched palms-up, and repeat after me, loudly:
“Va Anee Ez???”
You’ve just told them ‘where the goddamn fish pisses from’, (to use Expression #28), and in plain English translation, asked:
“And I’m what, a f*cking GOAT??”
Works most of the time. Usually they’ll say, roughly “Oy, slee’kha. Sha’khak’nu!” (‘Oh, sorry, we forgot!’)
But beware of the down-side. If one of ’em replies: “Ken, b’erech.” (‘Yeah, approximately.’) it’s a wake-up call that you need to either spend more schmooze-time with these valued ‘buddies’, or better, ‘de-friend’ them, write defamatory sh*t about ’em on your Wall… and console yourself for the time being with your Own Personal Pizza.
If they deliver in your sector.
Or to goats.
All Expressions guaranteed in current Israeli usage. By teh hair on my chinny-chin chin. Or I’ll blow your house down.
* fear not: ‘R.E.C.’ is simply italian for ‘Retributat Est Certiori’, the source of the common English karmic maxim ‘Payback’s a mother-….,’ Click away.
(‘and since I get a dozen hits a day from ‘thin-spo’ ‘searchers’, I might as well gratuitously mention that Key-word, even though this post reads more like ‘fats-spo’. I do sincerely wish them all success at attaining their ideal weight, at coming to a manageably sane relationship with food, and oh, a very small ‘Pizza: hold the tomatoes, cheese, dough, and toppings’.