Pig & Swan Song

Out on the Lawn, the Swans greet the Dawn… and yawn…
Juan and Vaughn hit ‘Pause’ on ‘Private Benjamin’, and step outside to greet the morning.
“Here comes the Sun.” Vaughn observes.
“How original!” Juan, snidely. The two aren’t getting on.

Across the Line, the Swine Dine… and whine:
“That pine-cone is mine!” grunts Kline.
“Fine, I ate eight, you ate nine, Kline. You’re ‘un-sound’, boar.”
The pigs are at odds.

The day continues to break.
The Loons will Soon be Doin’ what Loons do days(?)
I haven’t a clue.
Hum a few bars, maybe I’ll name that tune.

Vaughn on the porch with his Chesterfields
Tough and Lean, like a Scene from James Dean.
“What’s this all about?” Juan, prosaic unto death.
“I don’t know. Whadya got?” Vaughn says that a lot.

Up the Lane, barely Sane, drives the Dane
“Me’n the Pope are engaged!” he shouts, over the engine noise.
“And here’s proof.” He hands Juan a yellowed newspaper.
“Niels Bohr kneels. Bores Holy See!” It screams.
“Think the wedding’s off.” Vaughn tosses a butt on the lawn.

Unwisely left aLone, the gardner has Sown a row of Doane’s Pills.
“They’re good for the liver.” he defends his choice.
“But Carter’s are perennial, you dunce!” Bohr, still screaming.
“Go bite a piano bench!” Gardner shouts. They disagree. Probably

“I’m gone.” says Juan. “I do believe I’ve… had enough.”
“Great. With any Luck you can Suck off a Duck.” Vaughn just has to throw that out.
Both swans and swine feel the tension as the pair dissolves
Bohr and Gardner drag the VCR out onto the porch, press ‘Resume’
Goldie’s still not sure she’s in the right army.

Wu: “That one’s about acid. Obviously.”
Me: I never said that. My kid brought this picture home from Kindergarten. Swans and Pigs.
Wu: Right…


28 thoughts on “Pig & Swan Song

  1. jsolberg

    @Lovegrove – Nothing whatsoever against them; they’re the un-sung heroes here. Oh maybe Kline, he’s got a heart of darkness. But how can ya not adore a bird who ‘yawns’ just to rhyme with Goldie ‘Hawn’?Let’s see, we got ‘Rebel w/o a Cause, 50’s patent-medicines and their TV commercials, Dylan and the Fab Four, quantum uncertainty… and 6 hits of the purple acid. Oh no, I said too much.

  2. jsolberg

    @twoberry –  Hey, I’m working on it; the code, you know. Got the old Enigma fired up, all seven wheels. Seriously, I’ll try anagrams first, and if I come up empty for 24 hours I’ll go to letter substitution. Probably a one-time pad, though, so I’m licked. I do like the sound-poetry of your cipher-text though. Might just set aside my work on the Voynich Manuscript to decipher your Comment first.Thanks,; I didn’t have much else on tap for this month anyway/ js

  3. jsolberg

    @an_OM_aly – A: Right here and now, dear. Vaughn says Juan always lies. Juan contends just the opposite. Both of ’em can’t be right. But, you know, getting eaten by a Tiger concentrates the mind. I’ll probably ask Vaughn what Juan would say if I asked him which door has the Virgins. Yeah, that’ll work. But my luck I’ll get virgin tigresses. Who eat their lover after the Act. (F-stop Fitzgerald: ‘American plays have no second acts.’)

  4. jsolberg

    @dirtbubble – I dropped acid in 7th grade chemistry. We neutralized it with baking soda, but there are still flashbacks on the lab floor.Seriously, giving Ritalin to kiddies? I do it at 62 and my head ’bout explodes from the overload. Only centuries of acquired ‘passing & coping’ skills keep me out of the local funny farm.

  5. Lakakalo

    Solberg, you tower above the competing beasts like a giraffe in a circus parade.But… um… virgin tigresses? Verification would be difficult enough, of their virginity, let alone what they would do after an act they’ve been certified to never have done before.And what would you do with them? 0_O

  6. jsolberg

    @Lakakalo – Last question first: let’s just say there’s a certain similarity of scale, and in principle, the tryst is do-able. As to what they’ll likely do ‘after’: probably go home and tattoo my name on their paw pads, write gushing poetry in their biology notebooks during study hall…. and then 20 years later we’ll hook up again, to do it right this time. All speculation, of course, mind you.

  7. jsolberg

    @ItsWhatEyeKnow – Oh Lena, I mask my ‘raised-by-wolves’ Inner Child so well on Xanga. If I’m ever so lucky as to need your representation, you’ll have a minimum of skeletons in my closet on cross-. I did let a bit of animal out of the pen here. But what’s the worst that can happen: “Counsel is witnessing the badger!”?

  8. we_deny_everything

    Honorable try, but the master of the internal rhyme is still … Get sick, get wellHang around a ink wellRing bell, hard to tellIf anything is goin’ to sellTry hard, get barredGet back, write brailleGet jailed, jump bailJoin the army, if you fail

  9. jsolberg

    @we_deny_everything –  He coulda been a contenda for my all-time life-long hero if he hadn’t done the ‘religion-of-the-week’ routine.And since you’re no chump in the psych-introspection dep’t, I’ll share this. I had “One too many mornings” running through my head the whole time I wrote this, and never quite knew why. Until now. Maybe

  10. jsolberg

    @xXxlovelylollipop – *struggles to find any on-topic references in the post, comes up blank* To my credit, I *did* think about the date several times yesterday. Because of that evil day, I had to postpone being born while my Dad dealt with the mess. Of course, without it, the Isolationists might have kept the US on the sidelines until it was too late. Here in Israel, we are more acutely aware of our own ‘Pearl Harbor’s, Yom Kippur, The Six-day war, Entebbe, the bombing of the Iraqi reactor. Understandably, I hope.

  11. jsolberg

    @seedsower – Oh my, how I count on you to ‘get’ the jokes. Remember the Carter’s (B&W of course) TV spot, where a guy gets so pissed playing the piano that he picks up the bench and takes a bite out of it. The Doctor calmly walks in and says “MAYBE IT’S YOUR LIVER?”.Yeah, you are a god-send, Beth. Cause of you I Googled hurricane Hazel too, and now I know what day it was (a friday afternoon) and where I was standing when the ‘eye’ blew through Lebanon County.

  12. seedsower

    You are so clever I am sure I miss a lot of your humor . I am so glad you post these writings, it would be a shame to not share them.I know where I was during Agnes in 72 that was a wicked one too.

  13. jsolberg

    @seedsower – Well, I only write because Xanga’s ‘there’, you know, like Mt Everest.Agnes almost did me in: a horrible wreck in my VW bus loaded with salvaged evergreen branches I was fascinated with spreading all over the house just fer the smell. In the end the branches saved my life.Thanks for your nice words:)


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