I Blame Sweden

     I am, as we speak, suffering through another of my week-long Xanga blackouts. Every site in the world comes up except for Xanga. (Yes, Outer Mongolian yak-prices dot com? No problem: 138 milliseconds to page-load, and I decide to wait until Dec 1 to sell my herd. So at least there’s that…
But Xanga? It’s a total mystery, and the Forums (Forae?) have only helped me to rule out just
about everything. Except Alien Conspiracy. Here are the details:

1) The handy {trace-route} utility in Windows Ms-Dos reveals that, (as is the case every time
this happens), my Request-to-Connect makes it to
one specific Swedish server and dies, timed-out. by {} (URL of the Beast?)
2) And so there’s really not much to be discovered by checking my computer’s ‘Hosts’ file in
Windows/System32/drivers/etc. Clean; the only hand-entered entry is for Meebo. Same ‘no-help’ for flushing the DNS Cache; it’s clean as a Dubai toilet-bowl also.

3) I can access Xanga through a Free Web-Proxy site somewhere in Texas, although it mysteriously (so far) refuses to let me invoke the Reply-to-Comment function. So telling Roadkill Spats that ‘TIMID’ is an -id word we somehow overlooked is impossible by regular channels. Oh, and I can’t post Entries through a proxy either.

4) Ok, I checked ‘Search my site’, for any derogatory mention of Sweden. Bingo, in a comment years ago I ‘did’ hint that “Norway’s got everything Sweden’s got… except a good neighbor.” A little Norse humour. Get over it; the damn Quislings are probably just jealous.

5) So, seriously, what could cause this un-explainable crib-death-on-15th-hop internet-connectivity quirk? If Xanga were black-listed by an irate WIFI neighbor, my Request shouldn’t make it past their own router, and if it’s the State of Israel’s doing, ditto, or at least at the gateway-server in Haifa.

6) So I’m left with only suspicions; some blonde anti-semite in the IT-Dep’t at this lonely
frost-bitten Scandinavian server farm is personally tossing my packets into the bit-bucket?

7) What to do? Well, IKEA of course comes to mind. And yeah, I do have the usual ton of screws left over from all my friends who’ve begged me over the years to ‘Put the damn thing together for me!” Maybe if I send ’em back to Sweden? Along with a nice apology for the Count Bernadotte hit from the ’40s. Hey Shamir done it, not me. My people begged him to think twice.
Damn. Shamir shot my Xanga!

Wu: So, how the hell did you just post this?
Me: Ha, as soon as I sent MelFamy the text and my password, Xanga came back mysteriously. I was gonna ask  him to post it for me. Wait, maybe he did… and I’m secretly him? We do have a bunch of good stuff in common. Cue the Twilight Zone Theme Music.


18 thoughts on “I Blame Sweden

  1. jsolberg

    @we_deny_everything – Might be a challenge to change course; we use orchestrated leaks like the more straight-laced use press-releases.But do tell me, if you have a better guess than I: what routing protocol could conceivably result in weeks of repeated packet-death, but only to a specific address(Xanga), and always at the same node. Oh, and only for me, a nice mild-mannered yid?

  2. jsolberg

    @jsolberg This isn’t me, this is melfamy, who worked my rolodex and managed to get the heads of Mossad and Xanga together on a conference call on which, somehow, the head of Zynga, the facebook game-maker also joined in. It seems that Zynga has been dissecting your site in conjunction with the development of a new game, to be called either Yoniville or Solbook. They express sorrow at your difficulties in a memo that was here a minute ago…One faction is pushing for a real-world amusement park, with rides like the Tower of Similis, Homonyms of Horror, and the Hebrew Short Line Express, a ride few can fully appreciate; runs backwards and sometimes stays on the rails.Siting has been a stumbling block, so it can’t be sighted yet, nor cited for improper seating, fans’ desires will remain unsated until the suits decide.

  3. jsolberg

    @jsolberg – Oy, we’ve loosed a novel can of worms, haven’t we. (I’m replying to myself, ha. But wait, you’ll be able to read it in either identity.Anyway, I wasn’t aware of the int’l intrigue and the circus acts. Sounds optimal, though. I’ll be able to either swallow a sword of fall on it. CYA as Mel, doppelganger-bro

  4. twoberry

    Friends like melfamy are good to have.  Unless you have an in with influential Swedes, that is.  But heck.  Friends like melfamy would still be good to have.

  5. gnostic1

    Perhaps they are thor at you because you persist in saying “wednesday” instead of the preferred “swedenday”. You’re loki they only messed up your computer. (I’m not frieda say more.)

  6. jsolberg

    @gnostic1 –  Well, gottendamnerung, those niebelungens need to get over it. In Israel we unimaginatively call the days of the week “Day One, Day Two, Day Three… usw. Took me forever to make the auto-calc reference-call to my familiar Valhallans, when scheduling appointments, etc. I *do* try to get hammered on Thursdays though, just for olde tymes.

  7. jsolberg

    @MelFamy – Yes, I’m aware I’m up against a formidably-horned adversary. Tonight so far they seem to have left my transistor forward-biased, but you know, once a car leaves you stranded in the swamps, ya kinda never trust it again. Hey, the dual-id party was great fun, and I thank you richly for being there. Don’t intend to change passwords either; what’s the worst that can happen, you get unintentionally loaded and accidentally Delete Account? But the up-side is that if I kick, you can post the obit. Just spell my name right, ha.(Oh, and the pwd-recovery Secret Question is: “What is my Secret Question? Am I recursive or what?!


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