Actually it’s a limerick-cum-ballad-cum-doggerel, but if I call it that in the title I’ll have too many Top-Blog slut-hits to count ’em all.
This is a morality-play on a fellow who suffers having his first letter repeatedly chopped off. But you knew that, Clever Reader.
Our Hero, he called himself ‘Blogger’
(Which rhymes, not with ‘wager’ but ‘lager’ )
Now I’ll bet you a beer,
You’ll be glad you came here
To hear his remarkable saga(r)
He enrolled in community college
To further his putative knowlege
‘Be Blessed!’ in red ink,
the Prof scrawled, with a link
to a web-site with JPEG’s of ‘foilage’.
A year, which can seem like a moment…
Spent our Hero in parsing that comment:
Aha! it’s ‘Be ‘B’-less. -ed’.
‘Logger’, I’ll be in-stead
Xanga of late makes me vomit.
So off to the forest he ventured
serving Nature, although non-‘indentured’
He felled the tall trees
Fighting mad seas of bees
But at least was not graded nor censured.
“I was hot with them Ballads.” he boasted
But it’s ‘All-ads’ now; the-site where I hosted
Guess things could be worse:
He’s ‘A lad with a purse’?
Anyway; think my muse’s exhausted.
With an axe prolly made by a Tzarist
He chopped at King-Oak-of-the Forest
When it started to fall
It was anyone’s call
‘Can the tree or Our Hero run far-est?’
Well the ground was all rutted and muddy
‘Get the ‘L outa there!’ yelled his buddy
But a branch struck his crown
As the acorns rained down
He awoke feeling seri-ous-ly nutty
One glance in the pickup-truck mirror
And he knew that The End had come nearer
Neither Blogger nor Logger
‘I been ‘aug-ed’ with an auger?’
I’m an Ogre now; what could be queer-er?
And the Moral:
You can start-up your Page in the Black
But if Creative and Sparkness you Lack
You will first lose your ‘B’
Then the ‘L’; sad to see a guy
Die without even an Ack
There once was a Blogger so Bland
They exiled him to some foreign Land
Where Page-views were banned
So he sat in the sand
And his only conjunction was ‘And’
This song has a point; (just don’t Blink)
I could time-stamp and furnish a Link
But the process is draining
see ya when it stops raining
Plus it looks like I’m all out of Ink
Shit happens, guys, even to Blake
Walden dealt with that, down by the Lake
But do watch yer ass
Them’re man-eating bass
You may wind up a-head, but with ‘-ache’
Wu: You’ll be back shortly with an audio version?
Me: How’d ya know?