Lord/Lady of the Flies: Only a matter of time…

… until I addressed this subject :

Enoll Flynn stretched his wings, combed his antennae and turned to face the Mirror:
“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the greatest of them all?”
Mirror: You ain’t, dat’s fo sho.”
E: “Thanks, M, I needed that. Working on my modesty.”
M: “And you do indeed have ‘a great deal to be modest about.’
E: “No need to get smarmy. Mirrors break from time to time, you heard?”
M: “Ok, You are the MODEST-EST fly in all of TSE-TSE-DOM. Happy?”
E: “I’d be a fool to say ‘yes’. I am getting there, though.”
M: “Getting there? You’re ‘modest-er ‘ than Mussorgsky and Tschaikovsky put together.”
E: “Ooh. Tickles me to hear it. But that’s what bothers me. Can we talk?”
M: “No one here but you and me ‘n the lamp-post.”
E: “Well, ever since like, a week ago, when I licked that yummy stuff the airplane sprayed on the lawn, I’ve had these strange feelings.”
M: “Strange feelings?”
E: “Yeah, um, for other, you know, fly-guys.”
M: “Hey, it’s almost 8 already. Off to work, Eroll.”
E: “And I’m thinking of changing my name, too.”
M: *looks at watch*  “EBOLA sounds good, gotta run.”
E: “What, you’re missing A LOBE in your brain! No, I was thinking ENOLA. You know, sounds like Enoll.”
M: “That’s gay. But leave me ALONE to think about it, brother. Or ‘sister’, whatever.”
E: “Thanks, mirror. I knew I could count on you. Can I give you a teensy little kiss?

M: “Back off. That’s not in my contract. And what’s with the lip-gloss?”
E: “Ah, you noticed. Hey does this eye-shadow make me look… deep?”

I don’t know whether to blame the fly, the evil protazoans it transmits, or the Creator, but sleeping-sickness isn’t particularly fun.. or funny. Eradication efforts in the mid-African continent have included mass release of sterile males, since the females usually mate only once. My dream would be to develop a cheap, inocuous but irresistible bait which turns the male’s sex-drive up to Paisely♥. Of course we’d have to fight religious claims that we’re advocating homosexuality. For more on this gross species click here. (wiki article)


14 thoughts on “Lord/Lady of the Flies: Only a matter of time…

  1. A_Bella_Loca

    of course you could always write about love in my comments. I could use a little help with all that silly stuff right now. Would that be breaking any rules?Of course, I only have rules so that I can break them.

  2. hellnohateyou

    Homosexual flies… that’s a little funny. I was just reading about scientists claiming they’ve come up with a new strain of flies that are type 1 diabetic, which is just plain weird because flies do not have t-cells, pancreases, or islet cells, so it’s hard to know how they could have type 1 diabetes. I mean, diabetes, okay, but what exactly makes it type 1? And what in the world makes them think that a fly model is going to be AT ALL useful for comparison to diabetic humans? I don’t know.

  3. jsolberg

    @hellnohateyou – well, other than landing a nice research grant. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, for now: There may be some obscure parallelism between the two organisims. I mean, my (real) flies here in Israel appear to suffer from anxiety and Weltschmertz, and they don’t even have bank accounts… or much of a Welt to schmertz about. 

  4. jsolberg

    @CatcInTheRye – We always counted on a few lesbian cows to let us know when one of the herd was in heat, for breeding purposes. Actual control-programs use irridation/sterilization: I just changed a few details for comic(?) effect. Thanks for reading.

  5. jsolberg

    @splork_splork – Val, you know me by now; a writer, always shopping for a new angle, in this case the unsuspecting fly’s disturbing new sexual proclivity. Btw, post as often as you can; I adore clear-headed, as much as I can get:) 

  6. elgan

    Very punny. Remember that movie The Inlaws with Alan Bates and the guy who played Columbo? At the dinner scene, before the latter hides the money-printing plates in the duct work, he starts describing tse-tse files so big they carry small children off into the jungle. Or something. Whatever. Google it yourself.


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