And you peoples wander why I have Irritable Vowel Syndrome. Ha. Lucky I don’t suffer (yet) from In-consonant-ce. This scream-capture is from the Official (Government-funded) Israeli Meteor-urological Web-Sight. That means I pay taxes through the nose for it. Taxing to read, is all I can say. The Hebrew site is generally error-free, at least in the spelling department. But every few days I check the english abortion, just for yuks, I guess. Hey, native english speakers make up, I’d guess, less than 3% of our population. A docile minority, known for their ability to suffer perverted prose in silence. Still.. glance at the photo below, and then allow me to decipher the coded message-in-a boggle:
1) ‘sothern’ = southern, but without ‘you’ in the picture, I suppose
2) ‘vadies’ are wadies, dry desert stream-beds, where ‘V’ and ‘W’ have long since evaporated themselves of any linguistic importance
3) ‘fress’ winds are harsh and voracious; they blow here from Germany, and can eat a man alive.
4) ‘dengerous’, high waves notwithstanding, refers to the ever-present risk of contracting dengue fever from bravely bathing in septic system runoff on our pristine(?) beaches
5) ‘isoleted’ thunderstorms are a bitch. They contain sleet, and attack without warning, in a constant phobia of being deleted.
6) And finally, ‘maily’ in the north? Yes, residents of sectors ‘R’ and ‘W’ receive letters direct to their P.O. boxes. The lucky suckers. Three weeks after the fact, but still, damn. I pay taxes too.
Seriously(?), Imagine if you will that the US government ran a web-site with 15% spelling errors. Would anyone complane? I’m thinking yeah, but then again, I don’t have to live there. Here, an MRI +three consultations with world-class neuro-opthamalogists costs me $19,95 plus tax. Can’t win ’em all, I guess. My sincerest hopes that you people will someday enjoy a minimally-functionally health-care program. To mis-quote Everett Dirksen: “A trillion here (Iraq), a trillion there (Afgan-hounds), and pretty soon we’re talking real money.” Which reminds me: I’ve e-mailed the bozos at the Israeli Meteorological Service offering to spell-check their postings for free, daily. No response so far. Hmm.. First step in grammatical sobriety is always to admit one has a Problem.