Ten Guesses

1) I guess that when you find yourself having come back from the Israeli imitation of a 7/11 convenience store (.003/.0015 ®) with a ‘tub’ of ice cream, and after five minutes of failed attempts to open it somehow, and after deciding that No, you will not go and dig out your magnifying glass to try to read what may be ‘instructions’.. which will only make you hate the locals even more, and after concluding that the likely explanation is that ‘Product-packaging’ was probably a forbidden occupation to Jews for 2000 years, thus the woeful proficiency today, and after disgustedly slamming the damned thing down on the floor, where it explodes and covers an entire room with sticky goo, well, I guess the conclusion must be that you’re probably disgusted with more than just ice cream containers…
2) I’m guessing the real problem is Xanga, and by extension, the human race.
3) I guess one would have to be a creative person himself, like a writer or musician, in order to realize that when a guy works hours on something and posts it, he’s probably waiting for constructive feedback.
4) I guess I have to admit that Xanga is decidedly not the place where I’ll ever hear comments like:
   a) ..interesting how each verse is in a different key, yet there are no obvious modulations.
   b) your material deserves better recording technical level, like equalization and mastering. I suggest xxxx…
   c) Q: What’s the deal with the ‘Maidenform bra’? (A: a reference to a famous ad campaign from  the ’60s. Glad you asked!)
   d) I like this song, but you may want to consider whether you’re going for humor or for a dry  point about sex roles..
or e) You said ‘five-part harmony’.. I only hear four. Should I buy a new sound card?
5) I guess this disappointing lack of feedback, (and especially disappointing comming from musicians, writers, and readers who spend much of their time analyzing the commercial material they collect and download into their mega-pods), is just a sad fact of life, which no amount of passive-agressive badgering on my part will ever change.
6) And so I guess I’m done spending hours working on songs with the express intention of immediately putting them here (in order to get some idea of their strong and weak points), only to see that nobody even listened to the songs..
7) I guess the same goes for poems..
8) and stories
9) and cartoons
10) and light-hearted photo-manipulations

Rule One: The more I care about something I publish here, the greater the inevitable disappointment when it turns out I’m just pissing into the Great Ocean of Silence.
….and the conclusion; either ‘Don’t post anything you care about’, or ‘Don’t post anything’. The second option sounds do-able. (not sure I could pull off the first one). And now back to eating ice-cream off the floor. And apologies to those few readers who do sometimes try valiantly to understand my (exagerated?) expectations. JS/ Tel Aviv

Oh, and here’s a cartoon for my niece( from Nice, which I don’t care about). I also don’t care about the cartoon, or the poem, or the clever ‘sixteen, pristeen, fourteen, eight/ate-teen’ trick. Nope, don’t care one bit… about anything… I’m gonna go to law school then, I guess…

bear 18

Niederlandisch?..Entschuldigen Sie, Herr Grun-ray, ich hab ein Fehler gemacht.. heir ist Deutsch, zur Zeit…

Fraulein Kraut-zehn, nur sechzehn, a-
lein in der urspruenglich und
gelbishe  Stein-Gruenanlage, war
aufgefrest…es war ein dunkelhaarig
Kreatur,irrsinnig und schrecklich,
der ist letztlich ein grosse
Item, ein ‘Stargast’ geworden..
der Aufschrei des Schlagzeilen:
“Ursa-baer Nummer achtzehn,
Lebensgefahr fuer Jugendlichen

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Ten Guesses

  1. jsolberg

    no, you ain’t dumb, its me, i wrote it in Dutch originally, but translated it at the last minute, for the millions in America, haha. I’ll put the dutch version here shortly.

    Reply
  2. elgan

    Name that tune.It’s cold outside, no kind of atmosphere,All alone, more or less…Let me fly far away from here,Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.I want to lie, shipwrecked and comatose,Drinking fresh mango juice…Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes,Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.

    Reply
  3. jsolberg

    .. off to work, but quickly, the ‘riddle’ above is the subtext of a cool spoken poem on his audio tab. Wont spoil it. Yes, the addition here is pigeon-german.. have to poem-ize it, for a limited audience, and ‘name that tune’… well first i need to understand it, f e e l it, grok it, then we’ll give it a name, and add backup singers (sopranos who can actually sing, haha). Tomorrow the sun’s supposed to go out, in these parts.

    Reply

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