Here’s a little interview that Gnudha (“The Holy Gee“) did with Joey Reynolds Jr. of KCQM-FM about a week ago. Joey came prepared, and sympathetic, I’d even say.. (no “Hey, what’s with the horns?” dumb questions). I think it gave the listener(s) a little better idea of what His Rightness is working on..
Joey Reynolds: So, what are you up to, Mr Gnudha?
Gnudha: *holds notepad up to the mike* This!
JR: *laughs* Ok, no, we ain’t on TV yet, buddy.. Says here *reads* ‘Trying to train the train to use the latrine‘. That’s a.. ah.. a private endeavor?
G: Well, kinda. I got a small grant from the Israeli Transit Authority
JR: How small?
G: Dollar ninety-five, US..
JR: Figured. So.. how’s it going so far?
G: Not so well. Entrenched thought patterns’re hard to break..
G: Like “Hey, nobody’s looking, I’ll just piss on this tree” ‘n shit like that there..
JR: You tried..
G: Yeah, electronic devices. He disables ’em.. even with the epoxy filler.
JR: ..appeal to conscience?
G: Hell, I appealed to everything but the Holy Trinity.. Dunna wanna work.
JR: Any sucesses, like, at all?
G: Well I did write a little test, it’s now required.. ya know, every train’s gotta pass it before he can go out on the tracks, but..
JR: ..but they ‘dumbed it down’, right?
G: How’d you know? Yeah, five true’n false questions, most of ’em like.. duh!
JR: You know, I’d figure most of the problem’s the caboose.. am I right there?
G: Hell, I didn’t think of that, I been working mainly with the engines.. figured peristalsis’ll just work its way on back. Top down, you know..
JR: I’d say ‘Train your caboose and the rest will follow..
G: Hey, I’ll give it a shot. Something’s gotta work or I’ll have to..
JR: Give back the buck ninety-five, huh, Gnudhie?
G: No, worse..
JR: What could be worse?
G: My other contracts, my reputation, like, the Franco-Israeli Friendship League’s got me lined up to prove that ‘Marcel Proust was never a repressed, over-priced priest with a prostate problem.. or at least that he had no recollection of it, assuming he was..
JR: They’re paying you for that?
G: Nah, that one’s pro-bono. I lose a little on each job, but I make it up on volume..
JR: Well, somebody’s got to do it. Hey our time’s about up, so Good luck with your train-poop..
G: Thanks, Joey.. nice to hear you say that. Bye for now..